Gifts Under a Cross

This past Friday was Spiritual Emphasis Day at my school. It's a day of class parties, games, a chapel, devotions, workshops, seniors leading the school in caroling, etc. Well, our chapel speaker this year was son of one of the teachers at E.L., and he was comparing some of the aspects of Christmas to Christ's story. For instance, He compared the Christmas lights to Jesus being the Light and the presents under the tree as the many gifts God has given us. Now a lot of those comparisons I had heard in some form or fashion, but he ended the chapel by painting a word picture I had never seen. He reminded us that we use evergreens as Christmas trees, and evergreens represent eternal life. He wanted us to picture the Christmas tree as the cross, and the lights on the tree as Jesus hanging there. Where His blood spilled on the ground was where we are left with His gifts, presents. That picture captivates me. It wakes me up to Christmas. Real Christmas. Christmas isn't just about Messiah's birth, but it's about the beginning of a journey He took for us, isn't it? It's somewhat of a beginning of the Ultimate Gift given for us.

Not every gift fits under a tree. Here are some gifts that I've received lately from a gracious God, and not all of them could squeeze themselves into boxes, but I'm still so grateful. I'm grateful for His blood and His grace. Yahweh is so good. So. Good.


316. Class laughter during Christmas party

317. Playing the game wink-em as a class . . . it was a hit!

318. Prayer meeting before pageant

319. Unity of a church wrapping ourselves together to present Him . . . our Savior.

320. Associate Pastor is back home from Iowa.

321. "Baby Jesus'" grin and that he quieted in my arms

322. A new Bethany Dillon CD from Friend

323. Bouquet of lilies and red carnations

324. All those that came to see me and others at pageant . . . what grace.

325. The nativity music box . . . a reminder of a remarkable experience

326. Three performances of the story of Jesus' birth . . . my first as Mary. What an experience. What a journey.

327. Broken release . . . tears and more tears.

328. Joy comes in the morning and so does peace.

329. Broken peoples' smiles

330. That make-up bag she snuck into my bag . . . love.

331. "Aunt Elizabeth's" kindness and gentleness

332. Gaile made it Home for Christmas. I'm going to miss this godly man who passed away during our pageant . . . maybe even during the scene he used to play in as Simeon, during the line "now my soul can rest in peace. I have seen Him!" Wow . . . what a story of God's grace! It's not an easy story on this side of the veil, but on the other, glorious side, I bet Gaile is so happy! And I'm happy for him.

333. Drama teacher's presence

334. Dust has settled

335. Christmas VACATION!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!


Alleluia . . . is He not good?!

Definitions

Oh Jesus,

I need You. Please open my ears. Speak louder than my desires scream. Soften my Will to say "Yes" to You; harden it to say "No" to the Contrary. Define what the Right looks like. Light up the crevices. Please quiet my spirit to hear that whisper . . . oh Jesus, teach me to wait . . .

I love You, . . . danae

An Abundance

I am so blessed . . .

301. Visit to Multnomah University

302. Listening to Ambassador choir sing Christmas carols

303. Small flakes of snow

304. Fuzzy, warm pajama pants

305. A packed Sunday School classroom of silly, little kiddos

306. Grandma and Grandpa coming to pageant dress rehersal

307. Prayer chapel and him playing piano

308. Squirming little five month old and those alert eyes

309. Warmed earth

310. Laughing due to sleep deprivation

311. Clean water

312. Inspiration of Biggest Loser . . . can't believe it's over!

313. Sitting in on college Bible class

314. Her prayer blessing

315. Encouragement and prayers of friends, pulling me through

Experiencing

The past few years, Christmas was not on the top of my list for favorite holidays. It has been glamorous and extravagant, and well, empty. Each year, I tried to focus on the King. I'd sing, "I want this Christmas to be different than before . . . I want something more, so to the manger I run, to the manger I bow before Your tiny feet, with the straw beneath my knees, this is what Christmas was meant to be." I tried to spill Christianity into Christmas, and I always failed. I think it's kinda a personality thing actually. I'm a very "sensing" person. In order for things to really click, I need to feel them, touch them, EXPERIENCE them. You can tell me a story of poor Mexican orphan kids and show me the pictures, and it'd possibly break my heart, but if you really want to touch me, I've got to experience their pain and connect with them. I hadn't been experiencing Christmas. I had been trying to make Christmas an experience if that makes any sense at all. Well, this year is kinda different (and I'm so happy!) . . . I've been given the opportunity to actually EXPERIENCE Christmas.

During November, my Sunday school teacher asked me (well, to be true to the circumstance, I guess "told" would be a better word choice than "asked") if I'd play the part of Mary in our church's annual Christmas pageant. Oh. My. Word. I was so shocked! and Excited! Being Mary was kind of an impossible dream I semi-subconsciously had. But this wasn't dream land, this was R.E.A.L! I honest-to-goodness felt like Mary at that point, felt like I had been handed this enormous gift, and I completely didn't deserve it. (I know, I know . . . deep down, I'm kinda a drama queen, but this meant so much to me!) I've spent hours practicing and so has the rest of the cast. Tonight's our dress rehearsal. Our actually performances start this upcoming week. I can't believe it's almost here!

Playing the part of Mary has really shaken up my Christmas mood this year (as well as listening to mainly Christian Christmas music). Let's just say that Mary and I are pretty tight this year, and I'm learning so much about what she might have been feeling by playing this part, and let's just say, that girl didn't have it very easy. Amy Grant gave a little talk about her, aired on KNLR radio lately, about how Mary had to have been so vulnerable, so completely dependent on God. Imagine how scary it would be to be semi-responsible for the Son of God! And I have no idea what kinda feelings she had for Joseph, but I couldn't imagine how her heart dropped when it clicked that she'd have to tell her man that she was pregnant. Scary! She had to fully lean on Father God throughout that whole experience because the townspeople sure weren't going to give her grace or applause or honor for something they might have perceived as fornication. Her hope had to have completely rested in God as well as her peace.

I don't know what it will be like for me after this pageant is over. I'm kinda dreading it actually, but I can't worry about that now. I've got to enjoy each moment, huh Kayla? :) One thing I do know however, is that I truly believe God has used this whole experience (the ups and downs . . . and there were downs, but that's a whole other story) to bring me closer to Him and to let me really experience Christmas. One of my favorite songs through this whole phenomena has been "Let the Water's Rise" by Mikes Chair . . . the words go like this:

Don't know where to begin
It's like my world's caving in
And I tried but i can't control my fear
Where do I go from here

Sometimes it's so hard to pray
You feel so far away
I am willing to go where You want me to
God I trust You

[Chorus]
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If you want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach

God You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

[Chorus]

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding on to You

God your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

(Lyrics from www.lyricsreg.com)

I kinda think Mary felt like this, and I know I have as I've played her part and just as I've lived life. One thing I'm learning is that God and I can make it through those raging waves, and that I can even WELCOME those seas because my heart is with the One I'm following. And I love Him so much!

I'm not sure what the purpose of this post is. It's kinda jumpy. [smile] I just kinda wanted to write, and this is where it took me. :) Now I should probably go take a nap; it could be a long (but yes, fun) night. So thanks for reading! Have an absolutely wonderful week! :)

Peace + More Gift

I'm so glad my church participates in the advent tradition of lighting the candles before Christmas and pulling out a theme each week. Last week's theme was hope, and this week's is peace. Peace. For some reason, we don't hear too much about peace, do we? Love is highlighted and circled, but peace waits like a nearby fog, waiting for us to step in, relax in the arms of Christ. What a gift from God! What a relief to be able to breathe. To live. In peace. I am so grateful for it today, as well as so many other things. Here's a few of them as I continue my trek to 1000.


286. Colored icicle lights dripping off roof [not literally, people . . . :D]

287. Riding side-saddle on a donkey for the first time

288. The ability to hear

289. A brilliant moon

290. Peace . . . this week's advent theme.

291. Child-like Christmas chain of red and green

292. Him sharing his heart . . . I'm glad I could be there to listen. Still don't know why he echoed his heart to me? But I pray for his peace . . .

293. My whole senior class being together a few days last week . . . a rare occasion but a fun one.

294. The reminder that Mary must have been completely dependent on God; she couldn't hope to get her approval and her love from proud townspeople. Her Father was her Need-Provider, her Peace.

295. My "Aunt Elizabeth" helping me prepare for my part . . . her grace.

296. Compliments: a challenge and a grace.

297. Opportunity to learn heart-humility . . . teach me, Father God! Help me to learn it right, to pass this test.

298. Four little kiddos in Sunday school class

299. Deep sound of a cello, viola, violins.

300. My THREE-HUNDREDTH Gift! Isn't our God incredible?! alleluia . . .

Focusing

I was in chapel today, sitting, listening, my mind wandering and careening through random thoughts. And it hit me. Lately I've been so distracted. My thought life has been booked with an issue I've been working through, my church's Christmas pageant, different styles of worship, the whole seemingly mystical Spirit-movement that seems to be seeping into several churches, things that I think the church isn't passionate about, what it means to be the person I was meant to be, etc. A lot has been spraying through my mind, subconsciously and consciously. I haven't been able to read the Bible recently without my mind wandering the plains of distraction. I found myself agreeing to a seemingly fantastic quote yesterday and then someone said something to the effect that he wasn't sure Jesus would have said it like that, and it put me on hold. Have I really not been comparing things to the very Word of God to find truth?

Anyway, I feel like a trap has been laid out for me, a trap of distraction, and I'm falling for it. And as I fall, I miss it. I miss the simplicity of a purpose-filled, focused life. I miss the deep stains of true living, . . . seeking Jesus, through His Word and through prayer.

Oh Lord, please calm the swirling seas of my mind. Speak peace into the waves and calm the throbbing thoughts. Please center me so I can live a life that's focused . . . on You. Alleluia.

Monday Morning Gifts

Monday morning. The dreaded Monday morning. Waking up was so not easy today. After all, Spanish 3 (which "happens" Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays) today means waking up at what should have been 5:30am but ended up being 5:50am-ish, plus Thanksgiving break officially ends when my black flats hit the high school hall tiles, and quite frankly, I'm not so thrilled, but as I pre-write this in physics class (yes, I know, but if you only knew the joy of this class, you'd be writing blog posts too . . . JUST kidding :), I'm reminded that the way this day goes is really largely in my hands. One of my many favorite teachers was my biology teacher and that says something because biology is not my first love (pig dissecting nearly killed me, just saying . . . okay, so "maybe" not . . . but that's a whole other story about God's grace . . . smile), but one thing that stuck with me was the poster on her desk, "Misery is optional, but joy is a choice." I love that and kinda hate it too because that means that I really have no one to blame for a nasty feeling day, ya know? I really sadly can't blame that dumb alarm clock or my choice in scheduling a zero period class or the fact that my break is being replaced by school. Well, I guess I could, but where does that take me? Misery. Mmm hmm . . . but honest to goodness, today could be a marvelous because I have the opportunity to choose joy even with those saggy clouds in the sky and the chilly, school morning. . .

Joy is such a fantastic thing. It's a fruit of the Spirit actually. Isn't it so cool that God's people are to be characterized by joy? "Christian" was never meant to be associated with a sad bunch of miserable people. The King's kids were never meant to live with their eyes on the ground, head bent. But so often I do. And it's my. fault. Rats. . . I've been caught. Smile. Anyway, all of that to say (?) that I hope your Monday is a great one! My Monday has definitely improved since when I first saw the dumb numbers 5:51. :) I am so happy to be alive, so grateful for His hands, His healing, His peace. Here's a continuous list of gifts from the Almighty. He is oh so good. I am so incredibly blessed!

271. Soul healing by a gracious God

272. Holding baby cousin . . . what a precious, beautiful life.

273. Playing game "Things" with family members

274. Understanding calculus shortcuts! "I like things I understand" ~ a twist on an old pageant quote. smile.

275. Remembering old memories with family and laughing til the tears come.

276. Breath of Heaven that holds me together

277. Christmas music focused on the real reason, the Savior.

278. A lovely Thanksgiving . . . one of my favorite holidays

279. Using the curtain for pageant practice for the first time Sunday - - woo hoo!!! I've been waiting for that day ever since I've had to practice having birth pains, but that's a story of its own . . . :)

280. Decorating Christmas cookies with youth group

281. Clean sheets of paper

282. Sitting and talking with Grandpa and Cousin.

283. Long walk and talk with Mom . . . felt so good.

284. Drops of rain hanging on twig branches

285. Joy.

Happy Monday!