You Carry Me

"Blessed be the Lord,
who daily bears us up;
God is our salvation. Selah."
Psalm 68:19

"You carry me all the way,
You carry me everyday.

You carry me to the cross."


This will be worth it, danae. This will all be worth it. - Jesus

Praise Him! He is GOOD. Let my inmost echo this truth, not just my fingers and my mind. Let this be all that I am, Jesus, to declare that even in the fire, You are GOOD. I don't see clearly right now. You do. You are GOOD. "Your love tears me up and when it's done, puts me together." I can trust You. Teach me to trust You. <3

If I Could Be Anything

If I could be anything . . .

Woman theologian. I like the sound of that.
I like having a microphone in my hands and something to say.
I like engaging audiences with words.

I love the Word of God.

I love people.

I might be a nurse. I wish I had the stomach for it.
Let me hold you, baby, hold you when the fever burns,
And your heart can't contain its own ache.

I would like to be a mama. Gentle. Loving. Creative.

Maybe a teacher. Reminding little people that they are treasures.
That they are smarter than people say they are,
That they have a lot more potential than they dream,
That Jesus loves you, Little Man. Little Girl.

I'd like to be the wife of a gentle warrior,
Who runs into light and calls me to come with.
We could be warriors together and at the end of the day,
So tired from a day of just loving and letting God use us
'Til we're worn,
And falling on our bed, exhausted and filled with Jesus.
Laughing because we're tired, and crying because we're broken
By their pain,
And praying because we know there is a Healer.

I dream some days.

Oh Jesus? Just please use me somehow! I know You don't have to. I know You could do it a lot better on Your own, but prepare me for anything, Jesus. Anything. For singleness. For marriage. For Brazil. For United States. For living a life of physical Danger. For living a life of Spiritual danger. For going. For staying. I will be weak right now, Jesus. Here I am. Sometimes resistant. Often stubborn. But I'm Your clay. Form me, Lord.

Amen.

Twenty

Daddy?

Hello. It's me again. Yeah, I know. You've seen me a whole lot lately. Well, or I should say, You've listened to me a whole lot lately. Thank You.

Thank You for being patient, a kind Listener. Thank You for being TRUTH. in my confusion. in my questions.

I remember where we were a year ago tonight, Daddy. Upper lounge, girls dorms. Last few hours were slipping by of year 18.

And now, it's about time for the nineteenth year to die.

It's kind of scary to me. Twenty?

Dad! It sounds old! It's not though, is it? You're smiling at me, aren't You?

Thank You that You're already in my twenty. You know the corners of it so well. You see. You love.

My one cry: "Oh, oh, oh bring [me] back to You." Every moment. I am in love with You, Jesus. Please deepen that love. Make it pure, marked with endurance. You are my choice. Give me strength to live it. To make that decision. Thank You, Love.

Thank You for smiling on me. Please, Lord, walk me through these waters of new year. It belongs to You. :)

I love You,
Your danae girl,
Simply Yours

Last Photo Stream for Last Month

Month done. Completed. Craziness.

Here's the last line of pictures for January! :)


Day 22: Good moments in the cafeteria --- one of my favorite places on campus. It's so fun to eat meals with good friends and siblings in Jesus. This is a picture of Crazy Curtis, my friend Kayla, and me. :)


Day 23: Roommate Bethany starting to feel the heat after day one of classes. Oh beautiful syllabus shock. :) But WE WILL MAKE IT! Conquerors.


Day 24: Friend Tiffany and me in the library. Reading. Again. :)


Day 25: Surprise birthday for my friend Jenae!!! Her roommate organized it, and we had a fun time. :)


Day 26: This is Roger. He's one of Multnomah students' favorite people. He's volunteered for the school for such a long time and has this unique, wonderful way of cheering us up when we need it. :)


Day 27: Again, in the cafeteria. These two are fantastic sisters. And they like their apples. :)


Day 28: My good friend, Kayla's birthday. Her roommate and I took her out to Indian food, and in India, you eat food with your fingers!!! So, we went in for the cultural experience. :)


Day 29: I got this sweet message from Kayla at the PERFECT TIME. Seriously, it was such a God-thing. Kayla didn't know that I'd need specific prayer at a specific moment, but Jesus did. Wow.


Day 30: Earlier that past week, I had tried out for a reading team for my C.S. Lewis class. I enjoyed trying out SO MUCH! Made me remember how much I love acting! :) Well, I was asked to be on the team! Highlight of my week. I'm excited. :)


Day 31: Every Tuesday, my dorm section has dorm section dinners. Here is a picture of a lot of the girls in my dorm section. :)

Well, I don't know if I've taken any pictures now that it's February, but I'm sure grateful for all the photos I got in January, and hopefully, I will be inspired to carry my camera with me more often. Maybe? :)

As for this month, I want to try to write an encouraging note each day. It's simple, but it gives me a good excuse to get something done that I enjoy doing but don't always take the time to do. :)

Ah, I have so much to update you on, like my new years desire to be trustworthy and my journey through making decisions and what my roommate helped me see about that through the Sunday school lesson at her church. I could tell you about how welcoming the people of Clackamas Bible Church have been as I visited them again this Sunday. Ah, I guess for another time. For now, I will leave you with a Corrie Ten Boom quote. She inspires me. May you be inspired in this new week!

"And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world's healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself."

- Corrie Ten Boom

Full Life

Once again, school comes like the foreseen blizzard, hiding my time somewhere in the flurries, and I am unaware as to where it could possibly have went to. Okay. That maybe made no sense. I'm pretty tired. haha :) BUT ANYWAY, I wanted to get in a post really fast. The pictures show some of the last moments of vacation before I came back to Multnomah as well as the beginning of a new semester.



Day 15: It snowed the Sunday before I left! So beautiful!


Day 16: Two of my friends from church met Briana and me at Shari's before we left . . . good to catch up and laugh. :)


Day 17: Yes, I made Valentines already. haha :) I LOVE Valentines day . . . trying to get ahead. :)





Day 18 is the sad photo. My sister left me for college on Wednesday. I love her a ton and miss our laughs, but I'm really glad she can be where she's supposed to be right now. She still faithfully remains my better half. ;)

Dad took me out to breakfast after we took Briana out to the airport . . . so early! but good to have time with him.




Day 19: On Thursday, I went with my mom to her Bible study, and at the end, I went out into our church's gym. There is this empty stage. I have so many memories of this place. I become Mary again when my feet hit the black floor and my nose smells the old hay that used to cover the floor.

Same day (fitting for the two to go together . . . semi-bitter memories need something sweet) I had a mini pumpkin still from fall that I really wanted to try to carve, so I carved out Joy on one side.


Day 20: It was SO FUN to see my roommate, Clarissa, when I got back! Sweet reunion!





Day 21: It was so great to see roommate BETHANY on Saturday! I love this girl! Both of my roommates are such gifts.

Also, that day, I got to spend some time in the school's prayer chapel . . . one of my favorite places. Jesus and I have had some deep heart to hearts there. He is good.

Jesus has given me such a full life. I see this in these pictures. It is good to remember His gifts. :)

Will You Hold My Traveling Cases?

January is speeding by. Somebody should give this month a ticket! It's going by way too fast. :) It has been full though . . . several memories thus far. :)

So far, I've been able to take at least one picture each day! Not all of them are very impressive but hey. :) I'll share some of them at the end of this. I should apologize. The picture part is a little more diary-like, and normally, I kinda stay away from the detailed activities of my life on this blog. It may not interest you too much. That's okay. Feel free to just keep scrolling.

Recently, I finished Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place. One of the best books I've ever read. I'm hoping to share more on that later, but for now, can I leave you a quote I read from the book?

Here goes:

He [Corrie's father] turned to look at me [little Corrie], as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case from the rack over our heads, and set it on the floor.

"Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?"

I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.

"It's too heavy," I said.

"Yes," he said. "And it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you."

And I was satisfied. More than satisfied-- wonderfully at peace. There were answers to this and all my hard questions --- for now I was content to leave them in my father's keeping.

Later, as Corrie went through the living-death of the concentration camps, she remembered this moment of her father carrying the suitcase and realized that she had to give over the heavy burdens of the not-knowing, the not-understanding to her heavenly Father. She could not carry it on her own. I desire the faithfulness that God put in Corrie. I have my own traveling cases, my own questions and places of not understanding. Some of the things I don't understand really aren't even about me. I don't understand why God's people have to be so harshly persecuted in North Korea. I don't understand why God's precious kids are dying in Africa while I have more than enough. These burdens are heavy, and my first reaction is to turn to God and tell Him, "I don't understand!" But I think that's only half of the solution.

Even my not-understanding needs to be surrendered to Jesus. He can carry it. I love that Corrie said that there ARE answers to the questions, but we may not be strong enough to carry them now, so Jesus must for us.

And He will.

May You be blessed with that today. You are alive for a very special reason, friend! May you trust Him today and let Jesus carry you and your "traveling cases." He is strong enough.





Week of January 8th in Pictures

Item crossed off of bucket list . . . put coins on a train track with cousins. So fun! It's the littlest thrills that make me happy.





Our good family friend, Jim, took family out to eat after church on Sunday. So kind.


I got a little bit of paperwork type things done this week . . . got my schedule written in my planner, started a book, finished a volunteer app.


I really had to think about what it means to be a light for Jesus. I'm still not sure I completely understand, but I want this. I want to be His light. I want to be real and let those around me see this Savior who we really do need.


One of my coworkers at the radiator shop! :) Made open-mouth faces at each other each day. I couldn't keep my face open that long though for the picture. Snap-Crack-It! haha Had a fun time.


More of my coworkers. I worked mainly with the woman on the left. Her son is the little guy. He tried to scare me often (and often succeeded). He's a fun little guy!


God's sunsets were GLORIOUS this week! YHWH is incredible! His work stunning.


Dad took us out to eat at A&W one night! Very fun . . . definitely a family tradition, eating out in our town's old-fashioned A&W.


This sweet little girl still calls me "Mary" even though it's been two years since I was in the pageant. Love her a ton. She and her family and a few others came over to our house last week.


Mom and I did it! Three whole miles on the workout video. Woo hoo! :) My belly still may not be flat, but hey . . . working on it! ;)


See those papers on the floor? Yep . . . syllabi and class notes. Getting ready for a new semester ahead and spending time laughing with my sister.

The Beginning

It's a baby. Fresh, new, sweet twenty twelve. Only a week old.

I've already made my share of mistakes and misshapen attitudes.

But His mercy is new.

Every morning.

Every beginning.

And I am excited. New Years is still one of my favorite holidays. I know, I know. I'm a nerd. :)

I still need to think of more resolutions and/or settle on the ones I've made, but somewhere I read that it's during the day to day moments where the real changes in our heart occur. It's not the beginning of the year resolutions that change us. Plus, I feel like I can handle monthly resolutions better than yearly ones. I haven't made many spiritual resolutions yet.I have a feeling that the spiritual resolutions need to begin more in baby steps at the beginning of each week instead of the overwhelming beginning of 365 days. I still need to set goals for that though because it's important for me to have goals.

One thing I really want to try this year though is doing something consistently each new month. Plus, I hear that it takes around 30 days(?) to create a habit, SO I could potentially have 12 new habits by the end of this year. Maybe, maybe? :)

Well, for January, I'm trying to take at least one picture every day. :) So far, I've succeeded! I've even taken more than one picture daily, which is saying something because I'm horrible at using my camera.

Can I share some of them with you?


Day 1. The New Year started at our home church. Briana and I were able to play our instruments at church again . . . first time in several months.


Day 2 Family played some games Monday night . . . Dutch Blitz and In a Pickle. I had a good time, and I think they did too. Good to do something as a family.


On Day 2, I also got to see my friend Holly, a friend from high school. That was good, and we got to act like dorks in front of a camera. :)




Day 3 I drove in my job to Riddle, Oregon (South). The sky was THRILLING as the sunset. So beautiful!




Day 4 I went to PORTLAND for my job! Ah, my town. Felt familiar in parts. Will be fun to be back for school in a few weeks.




Day 5 (Yeah, I know. Dorky pic, but at least I got in a picture! lol) I got in a very small wreck while driving for my job. Thankfully, it wasn't my fault and "my" rig only got dented. It was my first accident though. Good reminder that life isn't a guarantee. It's a gift. From Jesus.






Day 6 My family took pizza to my grandparents house. Love them so much. They're so funny. Grandpa dressed up in a tie and mismatched socks just to see our reaction. Grandma sang some songs with us. It was good to be with them. Love them a lot.




Day 7 Briana and I went on a miniature road trip in our small town, trying to discover new nooks and crannies. We went to a cemetery as well. On the back of one of the tombstones was etched "Thank You, Jesus." My . . . cemeteries are interesting places. I kinda like them though. I like to read the words left behind on gravestones. I like to imagine how many stories are laid buried in graveyards, and I like to try to understand what it means to be mortal.

This hasn't been the perfect week for me. I really need Jesus, and I need to refocus. I feel like I've spent more restless, agitated time with Him than real, focused time with Him. Thankfully, He is still the same. He is still working. He is so incredibly faithful. He is gentle and forgiving. I am undeserving.

I'm so glad He walked with me into twenty-twelve. The beginning of a new year has come, and He is still walking near. <3