. . . Or At Least Reasons Why I've Loved This One
Today is an anniversary. The one year mark after hearing "the news" that broke my heart. It was a Saturday evening, a March 13, 2010. I think it was sunny. Maybe cold. And today holds remnants of subconscious sadness, but even in the crux of the chaos of a day past, it has been a wonderful day. Why this day was great? Well . . . here's some of the quick reasons (after all, it's 11pm).
* Nails painted "Burgundy Frost"
* The sound of classical music playing in sweet harmony with the rain
* The feeling of being cleaned by Jesus, of being turned on His wheel
* Lacy gray blouse . . . love being a girl
* Finishing up homework . . . God answering my prayer for productivity
* Pizza and laughter with college group
* Sunday afternoon nap and taking time to read a chapter by Jamie Langston Turner
* Roger and Josiah sitting on either side of me in church . . . a good feeling to be sandwiched in at church
* My gray, warm sweater and putting my hair back as I listen to solo piano from pandora and "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and co. Mmm.
* Dove chocolate, popcorn, and fruit snacks. Add peanut butter, fruit, corn chips. Mackenzie U would call that "snackage"
* Drinking lots of water, purification ya might call that :)
* Hurting for Japan.
* Laughing outloud to a silly youtube clip
* That I'm Jesus' whether I feel it or not, and friend? It makes all the difference in the world.
Happy New Week! :) May we rejoice in Jesus, in the chance to simply be . . . His.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
A Prayer for Japan
I scanned the recently added blog posts that have been written by the bloggers I follow. I figured I'd see the most recent posts focusing on Japan but nothing yet, so I will write. My heart is heavy for them. For the beautiful people. They're PEOPLE just like ME. I forget that sometimes. I'll be honest and broken. Sometimes, I don't let it sink in that people in other cultures from my own are . . . people. They're humans with thoughts in their heads, with feelings in their hearts. Forgive me, God! Forgive me!
And these are PEOPLE that are dying RIGHT NOW. Oh God of Heaven, please HEAR their LITERAL CRIES. Reach out Your God-hands to the dying, Jesus. There are probably kids right now who are shuffled under debris, and it's only a matter of hours until they will die. You SEE them, Jesus. Please, please, please be near to them now. Send rescuers. Send Love. We need You, Jesus. Oh how we need You. They're my family, God. Some of them, and those that aren't, oh Jesus . . . You know where they go if they don't see You now. Jesus, send VISIONS, send Your name! Please, please fight for these people!
I love You, Lord. I know You are strong. I know You are like a Warrior. I know You are POWERFUL and Certain and Intentional and Compassionate. Slow to Anger. Abounding in Love. Come, Lord Jesus. Come.
And these are PEOPLE that are dying RIGHT NOW. Oh God of Heaven, please HEAR their LITERAL CRIES. Reach out Your God-hands to the dying, Jesus. There are probably kids right now who are shuffled under debris, and it's only a matter of hours until they will die. You SEE them, Jesus. Please, please, please be near to them now. Send rescuers. Send Love. We need You, Jesus. Oh how we need You. They're my family, God. Some of them, and those that aren't, oh Jesus . . . You know where they go if they don't see You now. Jesus, send VISIONS, send Your name! Please, please fight for these people!
I love You, Lord. I know You are strong. I know You are like a Warrior. I know You are POWERFUL and Certain and Intentional and Compassionate. Slow to Anger. Abounding in Love. Come, Lord Jesus. Come.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Stronger Arms Than These
Pulled, stitched inside, thread being tugged, yanked.
Stretched . . . and no door out.
Chaos. The throbbing beat of the base.
It's student ministry and homework
And summer job and paying for school.
It's knowing what part this one plays
And what part they play
And was this all a bunch of lies?
Distractions?
And I'm not going to be strong enough this time.
I will fall . . . hands unclenched.
Falling, falling . . .
Into stronger arms than these.
Jesus.
The pros wouldn't call this poetry. I don't really either, but I write this with a lot on my heart today. Part of it's generated by tiredness and other things. I feel very torn and just tired from a lot of what's going on, but I am so grateful that I know. I can let go. Jesus has me. My strength isn't what keeps me up. No. It's JESUS, and I'm nestled in His wings!!! Safe. Alleluia!!! So are you, beautiful friends! He sees beyond us and loves us. May You dance this week "Wrapped in [His] Arms."
Stretched . . . and no door out.
Chaos. The throbbing beat of the base.
It's student ministry and homework
And summer job and paying for school.
It's knowing what part this one plays
And what part they play
And was this all a bunch of lies?
Distractions?
And I'm not going to be strong enough this time.
I will fall . . . hands unclenched.
Falling, falling . . .
Into stronger arms than these.
Jesus.
The pros wouldn't call this poetry. I don't really either, but I write this with a lot on my heart today. Part of it's generated by tiredness and other things. I feel very torn and just tired from a lot of what's going on, but I am so grateful that I know. I can let go. Jesus has me. My strength isn't what keeps me up. No. It's JESUS, and I'm nestled in His wings!!! Safe. Alleluia!!! So are you, beautiful friends! He sees beyond us and loves us. May You dance this week "Wrapped in [His] Arms."
Friday, February 25, 2011
Catch Me
The snow, billows of cloud on earth,
The white clean.
I want to be this, Jesus.
So clean, so white.
But sometimes, I choose away from You.
I picture myself,
Running after things You've taken away,
Crying and running for those empty familiars,
When Your Father hands are behind me,
Reaching for me.
When I was young, pounding up the stairs,
My dad would chase me,
And I would laugh and squeal,
Making sure never to get caught.
The butterflies and excitement swirled
In my stomach as I ran.
Sometimes, I still feel those feelings.
I like to be chased,
To be pursued,
And maybe, . . . though I might not admit it,
I like to be caught sometimes.
And Jesus, You're running after this laughing child.
Please catch me.
But sometimes, I don't run in fun.
I run in foolishness and crooked fear.
Please still catch me.
Please don't let me get away.
I don't think I meet the expectations.
Will You still run? Please, please catch me?
Will You catch and clean a beggar child?
Your little vagabond?
((Oh danae, you make this sound beautiful,
But sometimes, it's dirty.))
Cleaning hurts.
Please still do it.
Washing sometimes means scrubbing, sometimes means
Walking away from the mud puddles.
Please still wash me.
Please run after me, Jesus.
And will You even do this?
Catch me?
The white clean.
I want to be this, Jesus.
So clean, so white.
But sometimes, I choose away from You.
I picture myself,
Running after things You've taken away,
Crying and running for those empty familiars,
When Your Father hands are behind me,
Reaching for me.
When I was young, pounding up the stairs,
My dad would chase me,
And I would laugh and squeal,
Making sure never to get caught.
The butterflies and excitement swirled
In my stomach as I ran.
Sometimes, I still feel those feelings.
I like to be chased,
To be pursued,
And maybe, . . . though I might not admit it,
I like to be caught sometimes.
And Jesus, You're running after this laughing child.
Please catch me.
But sometimes, I don't run in fun.
I run in foolishness and crooked fear.
Please still catch me.
Please don't let me get away.
I don't think I meet the expectations.
Will You still run? Please, please catch me?
Will You catch and clean a beggar child?
Your little vagabond?
((Oh danae, you make this sound beautiful,
But sometimes, it's dirty.))
Cleaning hurts.
Please still do it.
Washing sometimes means scrubbing, sometimes means
Walking away from the mud puddles.
Please still wash me.
Please run after me, Jesus.
And will You even do this?
Catch me?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Clay
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
I close my eyes to feel the motion,
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
I rock back and forth,
Rocking into it, and around.
Oh Daddy, Your hands hurt me sometimes,
You hollow me out,
But it doesn't feel like hollowing.
It feels like You're making me empty.
The void makes me feel weak,
And I want to cave in . . .
The walls thin.
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
You mold me with the tips of Your fingers,
The palm of Your hand smooths the edges,
And sometimes, Daddy,
It really hurts.
And I get so tired.
So tired and my heart sinks under
The weight of it.
But I'll try, Jesus. I'll
try to stay on this wheel . . .
Please don't stop.
Help me to go through the processes . . .
I'm learning it's okay.
Thank You for loving me along.
For peace. Silence.
I love You.
Yours.
I close my eyes to feel the motion,
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
I rock back and forth,
Rocking into it, and around.
Oh Daddy, Your hands hurt me sometimes,
You hollow me out,
But it doesn't feel like hollowing.
It feels like You're making me empty.
The void makes me feel weak,
And I want to cave in . . .
The walls thin.
Spinning, spinning, spinning.
You mold me with the tips of Your fingers,
The palm of Your hand smooths the edges,
And sometimes, Daddy,
It really hurts.
And I get so tired.
So tired and my heart sinks under
The weight of it.
But I'll try, Jesus. I'll
try to stay on this wheel . . .
Please don't stop.
Help me to go through the processes . . .
I'm learning it's okay.
Thank You for loving me along.
For peace. Silence.
I love You.
Yours.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
On To Twenty!!!
I have officially lived nineteen years on planet earth, and now, each day I'm living from now until February 19, 2012 is living through my twentieth year. Woo Hoo!!!
SO, I wanted to be creative and take pictures throughout my birthday to remember the good things that happened, but that would require a happy mix between danae and a camera, and for some reason, those two aren't a very faithful pair. SO, instead of taking many pictures ON my birthday, I took a couple today to remember what I did. SO, here goes . . .
A highlight of my birthday was going with two of my dear friends, Clarissa and Brigitte, to a Matthew West concert with Josh Wilson as the special guest. I'll be honest, it wasn't exactly what I expected from Matthew West, but I definitely LOVED Josh Wilson. His song to his wife was great . . . I hope it's on youtube soon! :)I also really liked Matthew West's song "To Me." He wrote it for a middle schooler, and it's a beautiful song of God's beautiful love for His kids. He sees in us what others can't see, and I wonder if Matthew's right, if He sometimes wishes that others could see in us what He sees?
After the concert, us girls headed to YoCream with our Christian music up loud and Brigitte singing her lungs out through the open window and us chowing down on some sugar cookies one of my friends sent me for my birthday. :) It was fun to just be crazy, God-loving girls. :)
Okay, so I have this beautiful friend named Chris, and he blessed me so much by bringing me fun gifts for my birthday. One of those gifts was a pack of bottled Root Beer!! Mmmm! SO GOOD! :) So we just sat downstairs in the lower lounge at school and sipped on root beer and ate the cake he brought as well and just talked. It was so, so kind of him to go out of his way to make me feel special. Meant a lot!
Besides the root beer, he also had this BEAUTIFUL cake made!! Ah, this picture doesn't do it justice. It's a small cake that's the PERFECT size, and it's so yummy! Chocolate ERUPTION is the name. Is that not great?! :) Thank you, Chris!!! That was so fun. :) I wasn't sure I'd have cake on my birthday, but I did! :)
Among these, I got phone calls from family and my roommate, it was a beautifully sunny day, I got to spend some time in the prayer chapel, some sweet people told me "Happy Birthday," plus . . . I'm now 19, and I like that number.
Well, thank you for reading! I hope that you have a lovely week, that you can live it in Authentic Community as I heard about in church today. :) Bye for now!! :)
SO, I wanted to be creative and take pictures throughout my birthday to remember the good things that happened, but that would require a happy mix between danae and a camera, and for some reason, those two aren't a very faithful pair. SO, instead of taking many pictures ON my birthday, I took a couple today to remember what I did. SO, here goes . . .
A highlight of my birthday was going with two of my dear friends, Clarissa and Brigitte, to a Matthew West concert with Josh Wilson as the special guest. I'll be honest, it wasn't exactly what I expected from Matthew West, but I definitely LOVED Josh Wilson. His song to his wife was great . . . I hope it's on youtube soon! :)I also really liked Matthew West's song "To Me." He wrote it for a middle schooler, and it's a beautiful song of God's beautiful love for His kids. He sees in us what others can't see, and I wonder if Matthew's right, if He sometimes wishes that others could see in us what He sees?
After the concert, us girls headed to YoCream with our Christian music up loud and Brigitte singing her lungs out through the open window and us chowing down on some sugar cookies one of my friends sent me for my birthday. :) It was fun to just be crazy, God-loving girls. :)
Okay, so I have this beautiful friend named Chris, and he blessed me so much by bringing me fun gifts for my birthday. One of those gifts was a pack of bottled Root Beer!! Mmmm! SO GOOD! :) So we just sat downstairs in the lower lounge at school and sipped on root beer and ate the cake he brought as well and just talked. It was so, so kind of him to go out of his way to make me feel special. Meant a lot!
Besides the root beer, he also had this BEAUTIFUL cake made!! Ah, this picture doesn't do it justice. It's a small cake that's the PERFECT size, and it's so yummy! Chocolate ERUPTION is the name. Is that not great?! :) Thank you, Chris!!! That was so fun. :) I wasn't sure I'd have cake on my birthday, but I did! :)
Among these, I got phone calls from family and my roommate, it was a beautifully sunny day, I got to spend some time in the prayer chapel, some sweet people told me "Happy Birthday," plus . . . I'm now 19, and I like that number.
Well, thank you for reading! I hope that you have a lovely week, that you can live it in Authentic Community as I heard about in church today. :) Bye for now!! :)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Nineteen
Clock is fulfilling its pattern . . . the tick. tick. tick. And soon, nineteen years will have been ticked away.
Nineteen YEARS!!!!
So this may be my last post before the eighteen year old danae goes to sleep and never wakes up, but instead, a nineteen year old may stir at the sound of a noisy alarm clock. :)
What a year. Eighteen. What good things and sad things and sunshine and snow.
And now we are on to something different. Something new. Nineteen.
I'm excited for something new.
You?
And I come into it asking one thing.
Jesus? Please help me. Let Your Spirit fill me and Your power change me. I am Yours.
Love,
danae, simply His
Nineteen YEARS!!!!
So this may be my last post before the eighteen year old danae goes to sleep and never wakes up, but instead, a nineteen year old may stir at the sound of a noisy alarm clock. :)
What a year. Eighteen. What good things and sad things and sunshine and snow.
And now we are on to something different. Something new. Nineteen.
I'm excited for something new.
You?
And I come into it asking one thing.
Jesus? Please help me. Let Your Spirit fill me and Your power change me. I am Yours.
Love,
danae, simply His
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