Saturday, July 9, 2011

Beautifully There

Oh mercy. It has been way too long since I've been able to blog. This summer wasn't what I had envisioned. Jesus knew.

There's so much to say about these past few weeks of working at Camp Tadmor as an office assistant and member of the program team. But because I need to take a nap to prep for the next two weeks, I want to just do a quick post of my journey with Jesus, how He's reminded me that even in the chaos, He is still so beautifully there.

(And you really should play this music while you read. It's beautiful. :))

Thank You, Jesus. You knew my feet hit the floor,
And I dragged the soles against the dirt
When Your finger pointed out the open door.
And I said "Yes" to Office Assistant and Program
And "Yes" to what I never knew coming,
A ragged tiredness and a frustrated spirit
In myself I'd have to fight.
And sometimes I try to say "Yes" to loneliness and
Walking out of my world.
Into a foreign one that sometimes, seems so polluted
And other times so holy.
And Jesus? It's been kinda rough.
You know.
Oh You know.
And You sent beautiful Words to remind me
Of Truth.
The last paragraph of a letter, I've read and read.
Soaking up truth.
And Jesus, You sent my Dad and Sister to visit me,
Just when I needed them, when I needed the outside world
To break into my own. God timing
And the stars bring healing.
And I was reading in Isaiah, and Mom sent a voice message
With one of the verse I had read.
You spoke to me.
You made sure I wasn't fully alone.
And You prompted her to send an email. Knew I needed prayer.
I was falling apart.
And she wrote a note, and You confirmed it.
I'm supposed to be here now.
I don't know why.
But Jesus, I love You.
And I am astounded at the ways You've loved me this week.
Even when I was such a pitiful, whimpering, whining mess.

Please lead me into a new week.
I can't do this alone.
Please forgive me for the times I've failed You
this week, Jesus. They were so many.
Help me to give my best.
I didn't do that this past week.
I need You, Jesus.

I love You, Friend.
I love You.