Monday, February 18, 2013


I'm on the brink of a new year, a new age.


And I think I'm a little more lost than I was a year ago stepping in to twenty.

I'm a little more uncertain of who I am or what YHWH's doing.

But I bless Jesus for this vantage point . . . because even though I'm in an uncomfortable place, my eyes have no where else to look besides up, and this is precious. :)

Thank You so much for walking with me through a year of adventure. There was pain and more pain and yet there was extreme joy stuffed in the open spaces. 

Thank You for what You're teaching me now about letting go of control and about repentance.

Thank You for putting me in places where I've recognized a little more clearly just how needy I am for You. A Radiator Shop. Broken Relationships. Too Much on My Plate. etc etc

Thank You for letting me feel the THRILL of being loved by You. For the gift of an incredible mentor. For feeling so excited about being alive in September and October especially.

Thank You for the people You've let me get to know in deeper ways, for all the laughter, the abundance of tears. Thank You that these are evidences that You really do work in my life too. I really need You.

I have no idea what You have for me as a twenty-one year old, but God? 

I'm Yours.

Please do whatever You want in me and with me. Would You please teach me what it means to follow You humbly? To realize that I am not healer? Will You teach me to give of myself  in relationships instead of simply taking? Will You teach me to continually confess and repent? 

Please teach me how to love You?

I praise You, God. I thank You for each of these twenty-one years. For the incredible milestones and memories. Oh man, Jesus, You have given me a lot. I will be held accountable for it, won't I? Please help me to live well? To live my life with open hands, open heart? 

I don't know much, Jesus. You know that. I have this fragile heart though. It's Yours. Thank You for twenty-one years of faithfulness to me. You have been my sweetest Treasure.

I love You, Father.
In Jesus' name,

Monday, February 11, 2013

Following Jesus, Not Following Needs

I was soooo tired. Soul, Body, Mind, Spirit. Just tired.

I was sitting by myself, eating dinner. There were few in the cafeteria with it being so late, and I was just finishing up when one of my brothers walked by and said, "Hello." He asked me how I was doing, and we started talking.

And I talked about how I was so tired, and I didn't know how to tell the difference between being tired because I'm doing good things {and the tiredness is normal, simply a sacrifice} versus being tired because I'm doing too many things that the LORD never meant me to do.

And my brother said something that I haven't been able to shake the past few days.

Some people follow the need, but we're not called to do that. We just need to be doing what Jesus has called us to do.

Heart Pierced.

And this deep question confronted my heart.

danae? are you following needs or are you following Jesus?


Y'all, I get so distracted by the best of things. Needs overwhelm me. They're everywhere, and it doesn't seem like they're being met. People need to be heard and loved and encouraged. People need to be fed and held and given a warm place to stay. People need to be rescued and healed and protected.

My city is weeping without realizing it.

My fellow-warriors here at college, many of them are crying as well . . . so discouraged and tired and hurting. Some are falling through the cracks.

Neon-signs everywhere: NEED! NEED! NEED!

And I get distracted.

And because sometimes I get haughty and in my pride, I see these needs not being met and think that means nobody's doing anything, but I can! I can do something!

So I hop in to be the "good guy," and . . .

i forget Jesus.

My mission becomes about fulfilling needs, about being savior.

instead of loving Jesus and seeking what He wants.

And I've thought through this because I've heard it said that doing God's Will is meeting the needs around us, and in a sense, I think there's huge truth to that.

1 John 3:16-18 says,

"Bu this we know love, that He laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in Him? 
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."

Love produces ACTION. Love sees need and reaches out.

But the proof that we're really loving people isn't demonstrated in our need-meeting . . .

{If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love . . . 
1 Cor 13:3a }

. . . but in whether or not we love God and obey Him.

{By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey His commandments. 1 John 5:2}

The focus is on GOD.

Not needs.

And I couldn't help thinking of Jesus' words in Matthew 9:37-38.

Then He said to His disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into His harvest field." {NIV}

And I wonder. I can't harvest the whole field . . . and Jesus doesn't seem to be expecting His disciples to either. He doesn't tell them to meet all the needs of the harvest. He tells them to pray, that the LORD would send out more to meet the need of the plentiful harvest.

So as I reflect on this, I'm realizing that I can easily miss Jesus in doing good things. 

Meeting needs is not equated with following Jesus.

Oh Jesus, I want to seek YOU. I want to be available, to let You meet any need through me that You desire. 

I want to display my love for others by loving You and obeying You {not the other way around}.

And I will pray that You will send people to meet the needs that I see, always willing to be the one you send if that's a need You'd like to meet through me (I'd be so happy to do that) but realizing that You might have someone else in mind to meet that need or You may be working on that individual's life in such a way that the need shouldn't be met right away.

I'm here to follow You. To let You have control. Please forgive me for being distracted, for trying to take over Your role in busying myself with meeting needs. I'm glad You're God, and I'm not. I'll try to act more like Your daughter, like Your servant. I'm so glad to be Yours. I love You. Thank You for showing me these things, for reminding me of my priorities. You are my first Love, my King. I will follow You.

In Jesus' name,