Saturday, April 23, 2011

Oh Ants

These are a few of my favorite things . . .

adult gummy vitamins
messages left on my voice mail
red finger nail polish
sunny days in pdx
powerful Good Friday services

But these pale in comparison to the things on my top favorite things list. :)

There's this song.

"Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness."
And I'm mesmerized by LIGHT.

Follow me . . . this may seem like I'm trailing, but there's purpose.

Yesterday, I was sitting on a picnic bench, and I was thinking about ants and how crazy it would be if I became an ant and came into their world and tried to save the little creatures from a destruction they couldn't see. No, wait, . . . this doesn't quite work. Imagine if I was a very intelligent biologist who studied ants. I knew everything about them in fact. Knew how they looked, how they functioned, what they liked best to eat, where they would hide when the storm came. Everything. And as the very intelligent biologist that I am, I could see that these ants were diseased, and they could only be saved by a pure ant's blood. So, being a kind intelligent biologist, I decided I'd turn myself into an ant, live their life, and let them hurt me so they could take my blood.

Please tell me you're shaking your head right now, 'cause friend, this is just plain ridiculous!!! NO WAY would I sign up to be an ant. Sorry, but I'm quite happy with my human status. Plus, that would be extremely dorky.


Yeah. Doesn't make sense to me. Doesn't make sense to me at all why an All Powerful God would put on our skin. Why He would come, dressed in common humanity (He didn't even make Himself the most physically attractive person ever --- He could have, but Isaiah says He didn't). Doesn't make sense why He would be patient with our ignorance in not understanding the power of Him being the Maker of our eyelashes and heart valves and rib cages. That He was the One in complete control through it all.

Doesn't make sense why He would care to save us. Ants. Smears and smudges on His once-perfect-world's canvas. We are darkness. We are hidden in it and immersed in it, and He stepped into our world to reach our hearts, to be our God.

In one of my classes, one student played a song sung in Korean that portrayed Jesus' coming from a different point of view, and through that, the idea stuck out to me that we must remember that God has actually, physically been here. There are physical dates attached to when He stepped foot here. There is a legitimate month and day and year when the nails split through the flesh of His hands and sent the blood spilling. There is an exact time when He breathed His last. There is a definitive moment when He left the tomb. It's legitimate history. It's our story. It's redemption and light and beauty!! It is HOPE. And every year, I wish I could understand it so much more, and every year, while I still am so far from realizing what Jesus truly did, I maybe get it just a very tiny bit more around this Easter time of year. And I'm excited. Excited to celebrate LIGHT coming into the World. Light rising from death.

Jesus winning against death, springing into our hearts as Light . . . these are on my top favorite things list. Light. Jesus. He's my favorite.

I hope you have a beautiful Resurrection Day, that You can celebrate the time when the One True, Real God literally came here. For us . . . ants compared to His greatness. Yet we were worth it to Him.

And He hasn't left us on our own. He has left us with His Spirit, with His light. And these are other things to add to my top favorite thing list . . .

Monday, April 18, 2011


I have three minutes until I need to scoot out of here and start heading to custodial, but I was so blessed by such great things Jesus put into my day today, and I really wanted to share some of them! So, here's to an April gratitude post!

826)) Thank You, Jesus, for spring sunshine!!! OH MY WORD! I soar under it!

827)) Thank You for my minor spill today in custodial early. . . that it wasn't as bad as it could have been, that each setback is a chance for me to become a better person.

828)) Thank You for Her compliment about my laugh.

829)) Thank You that I got all the homework done I needed to for the day. Day by day. Grace by grace.

830)) Thank You for the random dude on the motorcycle who looked like he was blowing a kiss at me when he passed. It actually could have been sign-language for "thank you," and looking back, it could be very creepy, but it brought some encouragement and random sunshine into my day! haha :) Ya know, sometimes, Jesus just uses the biker dudes. :)

831)) For the humbling in Pothen's class . . . I needed to be reminded that I don't have it all together sometimes.

832)) For the jog/run with my roommate. Love her! Love exercising in sunshine!

833)) A turn signal that seems to be working now.

834)) For doing pretty good with my food intake for the day.

835)) For "Redeemer" by Sanctus Real. "I'm still a dreamer! Still a believer!!!" YES!!!

836)) For driving in sunshine.

837)) For teaching me how frail I am and we are as humans.

Oh How Good He Is.

Have a beautiful day today! Let's keep counting our blessings!!! There are DOZENS of them!!! :)

Friday, April 15, 2011

You Are Fighting For Me

Cut between the fire and the forest,
Oil and water never truly collide.
It hurts to be squished between two loves.

Jesus. I whisper Your name,
Your presence has already filled the hollowness.
Come, Lord Jesus, Come.
Cup my head in Your hands, Jesus.
Keep the bad thoughts out, the lies out. Please.
Please. Please.

Rock me, Father Jehovah.
Will You please sing me the lullabies
You sang over me in her womb?
The sweet songs, I'm sure I'd remember.

You are Rushing Water,
Waves fill me and carry me.
Lullabies, Your arms, the Waves,
Carried through the middle ground,
By danger, By safety,
The intricate paradox.
The Lion is my Father.

Please set the rhythm with Your roars,
Your songs, so I know how to climb
The trees and love the fires.
My safety found in neither.
Only in Love. The Strong One.
Faithful Warrior.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Gratitude for April 9th

It's almost been a month since I've posted last. Part of that's from a restless exhaustion. Haven't had ordered words. Haven't pressed through the wall into creativity. I should try to do that this weekend, try to create beauty. Beauty helps us come alive.

Since I really don't know what I should write about and since I don't have much time, how 'bout a gratitude post? I have much to be thankful for . . . always.

Thank You, Jesus,

(( 801 )) for daffodils on my desk

(( 802 )) for sleeping in the car

(( 803 )) for the way that music can heal

(( 804 )) for the small victory, the 2.8 run/walk with Sarah!! {Thank You!}

(( 805 )) for gentle hands of others

(( 806 )) for a possible summer job

(( 807 )) for a nice-sized grant

(( 808 )) for homework done, accomplishments

(( 809 )) for canceled classes

(( 810 )) for beautiful sunshine on a peaceful friday afternoon

(( 811 )) for not having to go anywhere

(( 812 )) for using me to love

(( 813 )) for shutting doors

(( 814 )) for letting me struggle through some things

(( 815 )) for a car that works

(( 816 )) for air swishing through my lungs

(( 817 )) for days when I'm really not altogether (maybe it helps others feel more comfortable)

(( 818 )) for messed up cupcakes

(( 819 )) for an on-campus job

(( 820 )) for sleeping in. delicious.

(( 821 )) for convicting me

(( 822 )) for times You grow my patience

(( 823 )) for the glimpses of hope in dad's health

(( 824 )) for dreams

(( 825 )) for stretching my mind

You never give up. Thanks. :)