Monday, March 29, 2010

Remembering

Forgive me for not writing my gratitude list here last Monday. I was in beautiful Mexico and wrote a short one in my journal, but I didn't get it here. But I'm back, and if I may, I have plenty to thank Him for.


451. Healing from the sickness in Mexico. He is Immanuel. God with us.

452. That He is God of Mexico. I didn't bring God to Mexico . . . He was already there.

453. The sun rays. Warmth and different perspectives.

454. Beautiful people, leading by an example how to be servants of God.

455. Laughing with friends in a brand new country . . . working with them too.

456. Being able to physically work. A gift.

457. CLEAN WATER! I love being able to brush my teeth from the tap here and not worry about water droplets carrying parasites as I take a shower or grab for a drink. America is blessed with that gift in many parts of the nation.

458. Being home . . . so nice to have a place to go when I came back.

459. Prayers of the Saints, holding me up, encouraging me.

460. Her card in the mail, so unexpected, so gracious. Another proof that God is good.

I press on. I don't want to face the battles here again. It's easy to become weary under the load, but I will try to choose joy today, choose to lay the burdens at the feet of the cross. This is Resurrection week . . . beautiful, horrible things happened this week. I want to remember. How are you remembering?

Friday, March 26, 2010

Sweet

It's Friday. Last day of spring break. First full day home after being gone on a mission trip to Mexico. I'm so tired. And loaded down. Homework, battles, futures.

And sometimes, we live on grace. And the remembrance that God is sovereign, expansive. That He knew before I was born what I'd be digging through now. He knows the joy set before me, and I'm quite certain that He wouldn't want worry to squash the joy He offers. He gives rest. Hope. Destiny. Dreams. And it's exciting. So, I blow away the stress and push through. God knows how much I can handle, so I trust Him. [And He knows the same for you, friend]

"It's not me but You that makes the heart beat. I'm lost without You, You dying for me." -- BarlowGirl.

I'm anticipating and praying for that Beautiful Ending and the sweetness of the center. And waiting, I make it my goal to trust and praise and relax in arms stronger than myself because "Your love is beautiful." Farewell friends for the night . . . See you later!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

La Paz

Hey folks! My sister, Briana, and I just began a new blog to document our mission trip to La Paz, Mexico! We'd love for you to follow along on our journey! You can read of our experiences here.

Bye bye for now, U.S. of A.!

Monday, March 15, 2010

When Everything Falls Apart

Looking back, this week was CRAZY. Honestly, it felt like the longest week that I've experience this school year, and maybe one of the worst ones . . . but Jesus is redeeming it. He's redeeming me. Things just fell apart this week . . . things I thought I knew, things I was holding onto; I fell apart. I'm doing so much better. Jesus is the God of hope (Romans 15:13). But it's incredible, you know? It's incredible that there was still good stashed between some awful moments. And I owe Him thanks for that. Another thing I need to mention is that often times on here, I state something great that has happened and then post that God is good, but I think I'm portraying a misconception there. God isn't good because I think good things happen in my life. God is good because He is God, you know? I've had to struggle with some bad things lately, but God is still good. I'm glad.

Anyway, once again I want to thank Him. Thank Him for . . .

451. The prayers of many. [Keep praying, please! Keep. Praying.]

452. The spring, flowering trees

453. That one person accepted Christ after the Zion drama my youth group put on for a church nearby

454. The church's prayers for us, how they touched us and prayed for us. That's what beauty looks like.

455. Their forgiveness when I blew it this week.

456. Trip to La Paz, Mexico is coming up! Some spark to look forward to. :)

457. The poetry slam this week and hearing Ms. V.E. recite the Spiderman poem. :)

458. Proverbs . . . I just finished the book this past week, and I honestly miss it, which is weird I guess, but I do. Loved that book this read-around. Spoke to me.

459. Auction project completed! Disappointed it didn't bring much, but it's one more thing behind me. :)

460. The song "Everything Falls" by Fee. The lyrics are beautiful. They summed up what I've felt kinda recently. Want to read 'em?

You said
You'd never leave or forsake me
When you said,
This life is gonna shake me
You said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on


When I see
The darkness all around me
When I see
The tragedy has found me
I still believe
Your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on


Sorrow may last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
Its rising with the sun
There will be storms in this life
But I know You will overcome

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find You mighty and strong
You keep holding on


Listen here.

There is always hope.
Love from: danae

Sunday, March 14, 2010

No Words and All Words

"Do I dare, do I dare to believe, that I still have a reason to sing? That the pain that I've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming? I'll try to hold on and wait for the light; Jesus, hold me, help me to fight. Let this pain that I've been feeling, be the dark before the morning."

-- Before the Morning by Josh Wilson (my version)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

She Hath Wings

"Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings." - Victor Hugo

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sweeter

"It's easy to trust Jesus when the storms far away
But when memories and feelings of your home far away
Have been smashed into pieces by the storm's awful waves

Then it's sweeter to trust Jesus."
- Sara Beth Geoghegan "Sweeter"

You know, I'm sure Peter and James and John probably weren't too thrilled by the storm's waves, but I'm so glad that they experienced that storm and Jesus' calming and that it's written in God's Word, because I need that reference point to understand some of the twists and stormy weather in my life.

I was chatting with my dad two days ago, telling him that I just want to get life over with kinda. And no, I'm not suicidal, but don't you ever have the feeling that you just wish part of your life would be over? You know, like high school or college or finding a spouse. Like my Dad's said, it's awful to wish your life away, but sometimes, I do. I guess one of the best ways to describe it is knowing that your life has already been written and figured out and just wanting to get to the good parts. You know what I'm saying?! :) I guess I'm maybe living too much in the future, but the grays and blues swirl tightly, and it's cloudy. Sometimes, it's just plain hard to live in today.

There was a certain issue(s) I was struggling with, and Dad mentioned that maybe I'm not trusting Jesus with it (or something to that effect). It kinda hit me like a tower of water . . . swoosh. At first, I was kind of defensive I think. But actually, that was a big part of the issue. I'm not sure that it's all the issue, but granted, it's a big part. Another thing I was reminded of is that I need to be .still. That there's a good chance peace may not come in my life from the outside in, but my heart can be settled, and Jesus can be there.

I wish I could understand myself, my situations sometimes. Don't you? Hmm . . . someday.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Free. . . . Thanks

I don't know how people make it without Jesus. I guess they really don't, do they? They exist, but how can they live without emptiness? Ah, knowing Jesus means knowing pain, yes, because it is through His pain we are healed, it is through ours that we are refined. but He is with us through every painful groan. He's been through a lot of that with me lately. He really is the only One who knows me completely. He's the only One I can really trust with showing all my dirt, my fears, my pain, dreams. It's true that through my pain the past few months, I have really drawn closer to Him. I've needed Him in such a vivid way. I need Him still. I feel like He's sat with me and sipped tea with me while I poured out my heart and my tears several times within the past few months. Y'all, He gets me as Zoe Girl would sing. :) That doesn't mean I always get Him. I don't understand some of the dark valleys He has led me through (and believe me, I know they're NOTHING compared to what some of you have journeyed through, and I'd love to hear your story) or His ways, but I know His hands are strong. They've held mine. I know He is patient with me. I'm proof. Bless you all! Oh please keep reaching for His hands. They're extended to you. And oh how He wants you. Your heart, Your life, Your thanks. and mine too.

Oh Jesus, thank You
446. For John 8:38 "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." I've been pointed to that verse several times within this weekend. You trying to tell me something?? *wink wink* :)

447. For the balloons cousin, grandma, and I let fly into the galaxies. Okay, they didn't get that far, but they sure were beautiful.

448. Grandma's NINETIETH BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! Oh man, thank You for that woman! I'm so blessed that she's still alive! What a stinker, but I sure love her like mad.

449. Grandma and Grandpa's 65 wedding anniversary! Woo hoo! Endurance. I love them both so much. Grandpa's another stinker. :) But life would be so boring and dull without him. And I wouldn't be loved as much. :)[nor teased]

450. For precious people who know what I'm feeling and who let me talk it out and who share what they're going through as well. [We need each other, y'all!]

451. "I'm Tired of Singing Sad Songs" by Sara Beth Geoghegan. It just fit today. [You can hear it at Sara's myspace page]

452. For freedom from food! [Ooh . . . that's a good story. Remind me to share it with you]

453. Seeing Grandma's old house, where she grew up. Man, was it run down, but it was amazing to see those old floorboards, where Grandma played, was born. Living History.

454. Being with my Sunday School kids again and getting two young visitors. My, what characters these little creatures are. But I love them. A lot. :)

455. Family. Wow. What a good thing.

456. The way that Proverb just popped in my head on the way home from church. So good to hear Your word in my mind.

457. Laughter with sister as we drove in town, trying to find stuff for auction.

458. Flecks of snow. Craziness. It's March. Maybe it will snow tomorrow. Two hour delay???? ;) Your will . . . ;)

459. The Friday off of school . . . what a fabulous gift!!! No Idea How I would have made this weekend without it! Thank YOU!

450. A finished rough draft to my senior paper. Woo Hoo! Thanks, Father! :) We got 'er done, eh? ;)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Frayed Poetry

I want to fly a kite again,
To gaze at stars from window,
Curtains peeled back.
I want to swim in that
Fresh creek again.
Head under water,
Feel like astronaut.
I want to peer into tide pools again,
And have a steaming bowl
Of clam chowder
In front of me.
I want to laugh again,
Breath comes short.
Tears slide, and I, Free.
I want to play badminton again
In the spring, with sister,
Bouncing birdie into infinite air.
Or not so infinite.
I want to cry again
No holding back
Just a cleansing, a purifying,
A healing in the deep.
I want to see the beautiful . . . today and again.
Not a distant imagination,
just living magnificence.

Monday, March 1, 2010

. . . thank You

Bowing, I say thanks for the absolutely undeserved, the grace . . .

441. The refreshing woman's conference my mom, sister, and I went to this weekend.

442. The break from school today for a funeral and seeing some relatives . . . didn't know my great-uncle really but knew a few of the relatives there.

443. That our struggles are for a better outcome . . .

444. That everyone in my immediate family are still living. What a miracle, really.

445. It's March . . . brand new month. Spring's on its way. :)