Friday, February 26, 2010

Love Mission Revisited

In honor of me surviving a whole week of being *insert age here*, I am celebrating with a bowl of German chocolate cake and a smidgen of chocolate, chocolate chip ice cream . . . Mmm. Plus, there are other reasons to celebrate! For example . . .

[I'm so excited for them! Plus, it means we get a day of school off next week . . . um, did I mention that I am happy about this?]

I completed two (almost three) scholarship application ding-dongs
. . . whew! (And for the record, part of it was painful . . . smile).

I survived a whole week and woo hoo for weekends! My mom, sis, and I are going to be learning more about Jesus at a women's conference tomorrow. So excited! Hope to be refreshed . . .

What are you celebrating today?

And by the way, I really wanted to update you on my love mission. Actually, I felt like it was kind of a flop today, like I lived it as basically just another ordinary day. There were a few times when I tried to reach out, but it wasn't what I wanted it to be. Good thing is, my mission to love isn't just a one day adventure. I'm going to be on it tomorrow (and the tomorrow after tomorrow, and the tomorrow after tomorrow's tomorrow, and . . . well, you know). I think part of my problem lately has been that I've felt so overshadowed by other people/person who has earned a reputation of really caring for people and being fun and beautiful. You see, I'm one of those people who often shine best in the darkness while shrinking back when there's a presence of others' lights. I don't think that's right because it's me not being the child God ordained me to be, not playing my role, trying to let others fill the spot, you know? Another roadblock I ran into was trying to figure out what loving people looks like for me. I'm an encourager, so I think that I probably generally show love the most by words and affirmation, and sometimes it's hard to fit that type of showing love into each circumstance. I think I need to work harder on learning different ways to love. K-Love hosts have recently been talking about the 5 Love Languages, outline in Gary Chapman's book. The 5 primary ways of giving/receiving love is gift giving, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. I'm not positive, but I probably fall under the category of best giving/receiving love through words of affirmation and maybe acts of service?? I don't know. I really want to grow in how I love others though, trying to figure out the best way they accept love and giving it to them through that medium. Hmm . . . not easy, but Jesus does it for us, and if I want to be like Him . . .

Another way that I think I can improve my mission skills is by really immersing myself in the love of God before I step out to love the world. By that I mean standing in prayer and in the Word of God, in His presence, and just reminding myself of the fact (and allowing Jesus to remind me) that I'm loved in such a deep, cleansing way by the Maker of the stars! What magnificent love!

Well, I really got to go. I'm so tired tonight. I think for continual celebration for the weekend, I will shortly . . . go to sleep. You know you're overworked when sleep is one of the greatest gifts . . . sheesh! :) Kidding . . . more like you know you're a time waster (if you're danae). :) Oh, speaking of time wasters, I wanted to show you this quote that's being displayed on my facebook page for awhile:

One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time.

-- John Piper

All right, y'all . . . I'm checking out. Have a fantastic weekend! Be refreshed!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I [heart] Britt

All right, y'all, I have a new favorite music video that I think is a must-see. It's Britt Nicole singing, "The Lost Get Found," and it is FABULOUS! I LOVE this girl! And I love her brown eyes! And the color in this video!

And for those of you people out there who are sporting the brown eyes, I just want to let you know that I think they're absolutely beautiful! . . . Side note. :) I'm done now.

I love how this music video is based on her really taking a road trip, driving around to love on people. Please check out the video here. The music video actually starts at 1:55, but Britt spends the first little bit chatting about it. Good stuff.

When performing the song, "Safe" for Air 1, Britt was mentioning how she asked God what her purpose was, why was she here, and she felt Him tell her that her purpose was to love. Oh how beautiful. How real! One thing I'm learning is that people really just need to be loved sometimes. I mean, that's not all they need, but that's something they're starving for so badly. People need to know they're loved [me included], no matter what haunts them in their past, what chains 'em in their present, what they'll be marked by in the future.

I encourage you. Today, love. Don't tag sins on certain people . . . he's an alcoholic, she's a whiner, he's a porn junky, she's a glutton. NO, y'all. Look deep. Put on Jesus' eyes . . . He sees beyond the titles. He sees us as grimy, despicable sinners, but He also sees us as what we will be. They say the ground's level at the foot of the cross. Alleluia. Enough about that.

Okay, I don't know about you, but I'm inspired to take a love mission. To seek to just LOVE people, to embrace more, to look in people's eyes and tell them they're special, to pray more. Friday will be my love mission day #1. Remind me.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Listing Grace

427. Quiet mornings

428. That He desires to set me apart

429. Sunshine . . . what a blessing in a rainy state. :)

430. My "You are my dream come true" mug :)with lemon water in it. :)

431. Long letter from a friend that went deep

432. Cupcake surprises for my birthday . . . love.

433. Them singing Happy Birthday to me . . . I [heart] my class! <3

434. I survived my phone interview! :) We'll see, Jesus. :)

435. Those unexpected flowers

436. Autographed C.D.

437. Long letters.

438. That You are Star-Maker, Jesus . . . I'm so oblivious to how big You are.

439. That You are patient with me. Don't know why. Thanks. . .

440. The wedding and that they sang for me (even if I wasn't there . . . joy and grace).

I'm thankful for second chances and spring sunrises, that You don't leave me in the sea of emotional chaos and confusion, that You have claimed me and I have let You in and allowed You my heart's home. Please come in and destroy and rebuild and cleanse and heal. Show me how to be a sacrifice. <3

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Life, like a road trip before
Mapquest and Internet and Paved roads,

Life, about unloosening steady grip
And letting windows hang down
And hair fly through the air springs,
Complete trust.
And Wisdom.
Rolling up the glass when the
Exhaust fumes threaten to clutter lung.

I thought and hoped my life was ordered.
Multnomah University. Safe. Simple.
But was that Your voice that spoke another name?
I really want to go where You want me
(As Long As You're There . . .
Please Don't Send Me Where You're Not)
But I don't want to just go . . . there.
Scary. Not Safe. Not as You-loving.
Phone Interview tomorrow. Scholarships?
Maybe. Maybe an open door. Maybe His directing.
Through snow caps and sunny savanas.
Or letting me taste desert air.
So I can learn what it means to
Thirst for You, to
Render the wheel.
Obstructions and unplanned chaos.
Or is it Divine Order?
Viewed through my earthen lens,
Eyes peeking through a
Kaleidoscope . . .

Saturday, February 20, 2010

simply danae

Hands against rib cage,
Darkness and momma's swoosh of oxygen,
And then light and first cry and piercing light
And I learn what it means to live.
I wonder if I was ever scared
To leave the comfort of the womb?
Year one, year two, year three,
The batteries in the wall clock make the
Machine tick and tick and I?
Am unaware.
Life whirls past me and in me.
And Baby I smile.
Year four, year five, year six,
And school and adventures,
And tears. And No's. And yes, them spankings.
Year seven, year eight, year nine.
New school within this span of time.
New faces, translation, friends.
New places, translation, home.
And I learn what it means to struggle
With first crushes and that one stubborn button.
My worries are small to you big people.
But little people worries are just as gigantic.
Life can be proportional, you know?
Year ten, year eleven, year twelve,
Elementary school wrapped itself up in
Field trips and memories and report cards.
In book reports and addition and musicals.
And the summers seamed up the years,
Bible school, swimming lessons, sweet pea chains.
Year thirteen, year fourteen,
Junior high is crippling.
Peers were always better, the sky
Always too far away.
But I knew how to dream.
Year fifteen . . .
Hands clenching a circular wheel
That turns two other circular wheels,
That turns a massive machine,
And I'm petrified.
And 40 is a big number in a little car.
And life becomes a little more shaky,
I wrestle with it.
Year 16.
That wheel is gripped in more confidence now,
Surprise party, learning to reach out and
Be reached?
And threaded through, You are.
Your love endures forever.
Your hands painted the sunsets
That left me breathless
And punctured the sky to let in light
That made me cry,
And cry glory.
You were the faithful, the One thing I knew
When I myself was changing.
Year seventeen.
Not so far away.
Light rays amidst dark shadows.
You felt so distant. I felt so disconnected
From the One that I thought I knew.
And then I learned.
Forgiveness, healing, heartbeat,
Beauty and grace, and I am unaware
Of the most extravagant of Your intentions.
Heart ache and healing.
And new year sings a melody,
And unknown to me is what its arms hold.
But I know that my future is threaded
with Him.
So on to the chance of more heartache,
more Loving, more being loved,
More sunrises, more sabotaging of an ordered life,
More songs and laughter and color,
More peace and joy,
More photographs and friendships
Filled streams of paper,
More poetry and family and boardgames,
More sun-basking and children loving and skipping,
More tears and messy rooms and messy life,
And Redemption.
And life will be lived in a river,
And at the end is You, Jesus.
At the end of life is Life.
The profound mystery of my existence.
Of never-ending child.
simply danae

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Nails and Window Seats

And I wake up, the same casings and two-by-fours, but another nail more. Maybe some sawing will be done, some priming and rising of the walls. I'm not sure when the windows will be carefully woven into the sideboards, but that's okay. Rarely do I think of it anyway . . . the Carpenter's steady hand has become a pulsing beat that I have grown use to . . . and amidst each rising timber and beam, amidst the yellow and deep red paint, is the consistent hammering and hoping and song. "My love endures forever." Forever. A plank removed . . . pain. "My love endures forever, danae." An annex. A window seat. "My love endures forever." Sanding and furnishing. "danae, My love endures forever." Forever. Exactly what is forever? I don't know. But for some reason, I think that's okay.
But I do know that I am built on the Holy, blameless Son. He holds me together, holds me up, holds my ragged life in His strong hands. And that which is sagging is what I don't allow Him to be under, to lift up, what I need to surrender (thanks, Lael, for that reminder).
We are being built. I often forget that He's still working because it happens simply piece by piece, beam by beam, nail by nail. But, (side note) I loved what I heard once, that God sees us as what we WILL be. Thank goodness! What a gift!
Today is my last day of being *insert age here*. :) And I'm so glad the building isn't finished because I'm not where I want to be when my hourglass's river of sand has settled in the bottom. I want to be more selfless by this time next year, more reliant on Jesus. I want to be less lazy, more humble. I want to speak more Truth and be able to discern it. I want to trust. I want to me more fully danae. More built, more established in Jesus. More like the girl Jesus sees at the end of the line. Well, anyway, here's for my last blog post of my year. Adios, dear blogosphere. When I see you next, I shalt be another year older. :) Farewell!

PS Oh, I must note a very blog worthy occurrence. It is actually SUNNY in this rainy state!!!! Hallelujah. :) I was starving for the rays. :) smile. What a gift . . .

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Thank You

I know this is early, but considering I have heavy duty homework to do tomorrow and thankfulness seems to be in season any day of the week, I'll make it a multitude of gift Sunday. :)

416. Her words to me and that love. What a true gift!!! Speechless . . .

417. That unexpected note.

418. Red and pink and white streamers hanging from the lights in the school hallway.

419. Hearts . . . lots of paper hearts.

420. Spring rain

421. I'm never alone.

422. That He is allowing me to grow. [Side Note: Growing hurts]

423. Balloons for Valentine's Day from the 'rents, as well as a fun gift bag. Too sweet! I love my parents. They are both gifts.

424. The rose from my sister . . . what a sweet-ness! :) I love my sissy! She is a dear gift!

425. President's Day = No School. Ohhh Yessss. :)

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I'm Not Like Those Other Guys

All right, y'all . . . this is beautiful [and kinda crazy]! :)

Chorus to: "Other Guys" by Jonny Diaz

"Cause I'm not like those other guys
that just hit on you and feed you lines.
But may I say you're looking fine tonight?
Well, I love my mom and you know I cried
when I saw The Notebook seven times.
but if that is not who you desire, get that out of your mind.
Did I tell you you're looking fine tonight?
Because you are."

[Jonny Diaz, you're the bomb . . . It's. True. :) And you're married. Rats. Kidding, people. Really. :)]

You can hear the song here. :)Did I mention he's a Christian?? :) Woot! I love the love songs that come from our camp! Even if some of them are kinda crazy, like this one and Firefly by Jimmy Needham (it's worth the youtube visit), oh, and 500 miles by Steven Curtis Chapman. As for serious ones, Lanae Hale's "Let's Grow Old Together" is beautiful, as is "For My Love" by Bethany Dillon. Good Valentine Songs. <3 Ask me why I know all of this? Uh, . . . well, . . . What can I say? :)I'm just simply danae. :)

Man, I love the first two lines of Diaz' song: "'cause I'm not like those other guys that just hit on you and feed you lines." Rats, that's happened to me. (The second part of that statement) But I've done it too. I've fed lines. Embarrassing. It's so not love. I regret. And from today on out, from February 9, 2010, I want to watch more carefully the way I speak to my fellow boy soldiers in this battle o' life. I want to serve them with my words and build them up, not shed hints that I wouldn't back up, ya know?

Oh man, Jesus, please purify . . . if I need the coals to touch my lips, so be it. I know how bad it hurts to be "fed lines," and I've probably hurt guys with it too. I don't want to do it. Again. But when or if I ever do, please carry me again, Love. And prepare me for You-know-who [I don't] if You will. I'll wait. :)

Monday, February 8, 2010


Well hello! Today was kind of a dreary day where I live . . . the clouds were thick and held up the sky, and I was kinda down today. Probably mainly a result of tiredness. Ya gotta love that disease, but things are looking up. Such good things have been happening in my life lately. My mom was praying over me yesterday evening - - - I was having a case of the "blahs" (I know, that's a pathetic way to put it, but it really does sum it up)- - - and she prayed that Jesus would add spice to my life. And He so did! Honestly though, He does all the time. Sometimes, I've gotta look for it harder than others though, but as I've been reflecting, He's placed some big, beautiful, exciting spices in my life lately. Would you like to join me as I thank Him?

Thank You, Lord . . .

401. I've been accepted at MULTNOMAH!!! [Oh Jesus, thank You! This might be it, huh??]

402. The compliments . . . especially the unexpected.

403. Preview weekend at Multnomah!!! Oh My Word! What a fabulous time! [might write about that later?]

404. The safe drive up to Portland.

405. Meeting new, beautiful people

406. Hanging out with friends

407. Your freedom and love

408. Excitement of my unknown future

409. That little guy, sitting on my lap

410. Her tiny hand holding mine

411. Him being such a good brother and helping me out

412. Watching the kids play the Wii . . . too cute

413. Christian music playing in the house

414. The community and fellowship of hanging out with youth group, watching Super bowl party [Yay, Saints!]

415. Her encouragement and friendship

One of my friends told me recently that life is so good! And I responded that it is for us. I know some people's lives are so tattered and filled with hopelessness. And I mourn for them. I hope they come to know the incredible love of my Savior and the life He gives. I want to strive to bring God into those hopeless lives, but in the meantime, I want to thank Him for my life, 'cause it is GOOD! because He is good, and He is in it. alleluia.

holy experience

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Sometimes, I think I think too much . . . Smile. :) But really, I do. I'm such an analyzer, thinker, over-analyzer, you know. I think too much. But maybe a little's okay.

Like I'm thinking about the Christmas pageant. Do you know how many months ago that was? Actually, it's been a month and fifteen days since the last performance. [Is that weird that I know that? I mean, I did some mental math, but it didn't take that long to figure it out] It was December 16, 18, 20. The night of December 20th I was pretty much a train wreck. And then I got better, and then I'd dip into periods of mild "depression" and the memories stuck to me like autumn leaves on wet pavement. You know, it kinda feels like a dream. It's funny how, even after a month and fifteen days later, I still haven't processed the whole experience. OR maybe I've processed it way too much. Maybe I'm missing the big picture? Maybe it's all too simple that I can't see it? [I told you I over-analyze . . . *grin*]

I can't wait to meet Mary, by the way. We've got a lot to talk about . . . ;)

By the way, have you seen the rain recently? :) The drops were pouring heavy and thick and the sky was bright . . . reminds me of spring rain. I'm excited for spring. I see hints of it once and awhile. Maybe it's Jesus' hints to me . . . spring always comes. Always. [alleluia]

You know, I've noticed that I probably say "maybe" [a lot] and "I wonder . . ." a whole lot. I'm a dreamer child, I know. Wonder what the end result will be, Jesus? [I JUST USED WONDER AGAIN! Honest, I didn't think about it! It just came out! Weird . . . ] haha :)

Well, tomorrow I go to Multnomah. I'm excited. All prayers would be so gratefully accepted. :) Thank you!

This was definitely one of the most random posts I've ever written. but I kinda enjoyed it. Might have to do more like 'em. :) Have a lovely day!


I read these words in my Bible this morning:

"Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved sleep." (ESV)

Solomon penned these words in Psalms 127, verses 1 and 2. I wonder what he was thinking when the tip of the pen touched the parchment . . .
"Unless the LORD builds . ."
"Unless the LORD . . ."
"Unless . . ."

Nothing I do matters. Nothing. UNLESS "the LORD builds," "the LORD watches." And God gives us, His beloved, sleep. alleluia

Monday, February 1, 2010

Beautiful February

I quietly visited Ann Voskamp's website, "A Holy Experience," again today . . . today is Multitude of Gifts Monday, once again. Her post for today makes me dream. :) Today's a new day to give thanks, so here goes:

391. An unexpected e-mail

392. Hearing Merideth Andrew's "Draw Me Nearer" . . . a beautiful song. Touched my heart.

393. Rocking back and forth to "Something Beautiful" by NeedToBreathe

394. Her face when we surprised her . . . 18th birthday. Happy day, beautiful girl! I love you, CB!

395. Semester finals . . . finished

396. The money raised from Church's garage sale . . . mission trip fundraiser

397. A beautiful new month

399. The verse she shared . . . Joshua 22:5 . . . yes, a perfect verse for a list-type-of-girl. [Love you, Miss "Caroline!" *wink*]

400. For the many people praying for me as I make decisions, big decisions. What a humongous blessing and grace.

holy experience