Thursday, November 24, 2011

Jesus? THANK YOU!!!!

Thank You, Jesus.

for loving me.
with pure, rich love.

for loving me enough
to hurt me sometimes
and make me laugh other times.

thank You for hope,
and the way it ribbons
throughout my story.
Your story of me.

thank You for our adventures.
mexico. drama. hospital visits.

thank You for keeping me awake
on those long homework nights.
for sustaining me with strength
time and time and time

thank You for giving me
daily bread.
all i need for the moment.
(sometimes it's just enough
other times, You give more)

thank You for a home.
for nestling me in
in these moments.
with these people. family.

thank You for being SO REAL.
for being REAL in the questions.
REAL in the answers.
You are I AM.

thank You for making me quirky
and loving me in my messes.
my truck load of imperfections.
sometimes, it makes me laugh
how messy i am.
how awkward i am at this thing called
but the way You embrace me as i am
makes me laugh
and love being danae
and love even more than i am Yours.
simply Yours.

thank You for Your blood.
Jesus, i AM unworthy.
and You love me here and
make me grow.
Your blood, Your story of horror
makes me live. sets me free.
i owe You everything.
(here i am --- please use me,
forgive me for being scared.
please make me brave)

thank You for shepherding my heart.
for being my Father.
my Best Friend.
faithful Love.

thank You, Jesus.
for . . . well, . . .
You are a Father of good gifts.
we don't deserve You.
but i exalt You.

You are JEHOVAH.
Creator. King. Lord.

worthy of all praise.

Happy Thanksgiving, Jesus.
i love You.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A New Twist on Gratitude

Lately, I've found myself feeling very sentimental about my time here at Multnomah. I walk the same cement sidewalks again and again, and I can't imagine living another life. After all, I have BIBLE READING for HOMEWORK! How better can life be? I'm surrounded by beautiful people who love Jesus and make me laugh and let me cry. I'm connected with friendships that are DEEP because they're tied in by Jesus. We try to know each other and encourage each other. I love the way that I can go on adventures with friends with the sole purpose of just loving people because we have (or make) the time and have the resources. I love that I have a community that I feel comfortable with. I love this world.

And recently, I feel like I've been living in this awkward place of sentiment, not living in the enjoyment of the world but living in a space of being afraid of letting it go.

I came to Multnomah University last year. I fell in love. The people. The Bible. The Chapels. (the list goes on. even in the little things. dorm life. cafe food. gym access. chance to "be an adult." i'm a dork. smile.) But I've told myself that I don't want to nose dive deep into debt unless this is where I KNOW God wants me. Plus, I really have no rock solid plan for my future, so while I would LOVE to continue at MU (and just might), I feel like I'm living with the possibility that some of these moments could be my last. This could be my last fall semester. (COULD). These months living in the dorms with beautiful daughters of God could be numbered. (COULD). I don't know.

But instead of simply embracing every moment, I'm afraid I'm trying to smuggle every moment. Letting every beautiful memory end on with a twinge of sad.

And it's here I think Jesus wants to teach me something about Gratitude.

You see, I think thankfulness is about letting go.
I said it.

Gratitude fully experiences. It experiences the moments, lifts the moments to God to bless Him for it, and lets the moments go to experience the new ones.

Gratitude keeps us from getting stuck.

Well, in theory it should. I can't say I'm a big pro on that yet, but I think Jesus is trying to show me something valuable here.

There are so few guarantees in this life. Am I surrendering every moment? Am I living like the sprinkles of soft rain on my face and the laughter with friends and the worship in chapel are undeserved gifts from God that I must FULLY EXPERIENCE and then carefully let go to experience the other gifts that He continues to bring my way? I've got some thinking to do. :)