And I think I'm a little more lost than I was a year ago stepping in to twenty.
I'm a little more uncertain of who I am or what YHWH's doing.
But I bless Jesus for this vantage point . . . because even though I'm in an uncomfortable place, my eyes have no where else to look besides up, and this is precious. :)
Thank You so much for walking with me through a year of adventure. There was pain and more pain and yet there was extreme joy stuffed in the open spaces.
Thank You for what You're teaching me now about letting go of control and about repentance.
Thank You for putting me in places where I've recognized a little more clearly just how needy I am for You. A Radiator Shop. Broken Relationships. Too Much on My Plate. etc etc
Thank You for letting me feel the THRILL of being loved by You. For the gift of an incredible mentor. For feeling so excited about being alive in September and October especially.
Thank You for the people You've let me get to know in deeper ways, for all the laughter, the abundance of tears. Thank You that these are evidences that You really do work in my life too. I really need You.
I have no idea what You have for me as a twenty-one year old, but God?
Please do whatever You want in me and with me. Would You please teach me what it means to follow You humbly? To realize that I am not healer? Will You teach me to give of myself in relationships instead of simply taking? Will You teach me to continually confess and repent?
Please teach me how to love You?
I praise You, God. I thank You for each of these twenty-one years. For the incredible milestones and memories. Oh man, Jesus, You have given me a lot. I will be held accountable for it, won't I? Please help me to live well? To live my life with open hands, open heart?
I don't know much, Jesus. You know that. I have this fragile heart though. It's Yours. Thank You for twenty-one years of faithfulness to me. You have been my sweetest Treasure.
I love You, Father.
In Jesus' name,