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If you're looking at my blog, trying to evaluate my writing ability, please pass by this post specifically. It might not be pretty. But it's time, to pour out my heart like water . . .

Daddy? We've walked this road before, haven't we?
I recognize the mountain peaks,
Stretching, strong and cold,
The barb wired thorns,
Bruising,ripping heart flesh.
And Daddy? No. I don't want to.
I want to go Home, I want to RUN.
I don't want to do it again!
I'm scared, and I'm so tired of pain
And prison walls and a love that kills me.
Daddy? Can we just run away?
Please? Please?

"No."

Oh Daddy . . . I can't do this without You.
I worry I can't do it at all.
Oh me of little faith.
I'm not very strong.
{But I want to be}
And I hate this whole situation.
I'm kicking against You,
Screaming inside.
But No.
Be still, my soul.
Forgive me, Daddy.
You know why.
You are God.
Okay. Okay.
You can have me.
I'm sorry I'm such a mess.
A coward.
Please change this in me.
If You must, wound me.
So I can be healed.
"Heal me, and I will be healed."
Please, Jesus.
If You won't take this away,
Prepare me for war.
Or maybe just for letting You take over,
Me hiding myself, like a little child.
Free in Your walls.
Yes, Lord.