It's been my Multnomah tradition since year one that I sit and blog the night before my personal new year.
So here I am. :)
I'm in a different dorm this year. A different stage in life. A very different state of mind as I type.
And I don't know what year twenty-two holds, but my prayer is that it's marked by Faith and More. More of Jesus.
Much, much more of Jesus.
And less of whatever it takes . . . to have more.
I hope to blog more soon, but tonight, I sign off for the last time as a twenty-one year old with my last Facebook status that shares what's been ringing through my heart these past few days. He is up to something!
"You call me out upon the waters . . . "
Jesus, please call me. Call me to come to You. Call me to step foot into the indented earth Moses walked on. My feet are smaller, but surely these footsteps can lead me to You?
I won't lie. I can't. I'm translucent, and You see through the tunneled arteries and veined lies. I'm scared. You call me out, and it costs all. I'm afraid of the cost, but I'm also afraid that I'll step out and turn my eyes toward the people in the stands . . . instead of You. Instead of You, my Love. I'm afraid of what is in my own heart.
This is a new season, isn't it? Open-ended unknown, and You call me to lay down, to speak from the inner parts I unknowingly hide. To let the unheard monsters, silently destroying, find light and die there exposed.
I am all in for radical . . . the faithful, persistent, visionary kind, what Ann Voskamp calls the "gritty radical." I'm all in. I'm in for seeing His kingdom really come. I know there is no other way to live except to live by the "Yes, Lord." These monsters need to die. The fear cannot keep me away from You. This thirst for affirmation will not steal my love for You.
So please, please call me to come. I'll trip on the way . . . I know it. I'll forget who I am, and I'm bound to forget who You are, but if You'll be patient (You are) . . . if You help me be brave and firm (You do) . . . if You'll be slow to anger, merciful, gracious (You will be) . . . I'll sure try.
Today is a new day.