I'm so exhausted. I think I've reached my limit on being able to focus, yet still, here I am, blogging and listening to "Beautiful Things" by Gungor.
"All this pain, I wonder if I'll ever find my way, I wonder if my life could ever change at all."
Do you know those moments? Those dusty, dirty times of thirst? When Jesus, You seem oh so far away, farther than the constellations, and I'm here, waiting, simply wanting to crawl into Your lap and just cry and hear You say that I'm safe and at home, that I can be weak for awhile. You'll be the Strong.
"You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust."
Jesus? I've made so many messes, and if I'm to be honest, even here at Bible college, I feel so separated from You, and I don't know how to crumple this void of my own making. Are You sure You can make beautiful things out of this?
"You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us."
Oh Jesus, I love You. Thank You for taking Peter back. I love that story, of Him denying You yet You invited Him back and cooked Him breakfast. Your grace is overwhelming. Teach me what it means to really love You? To die.
"You make me new, You are making me new."
Please crush this cocoon, Lord. Even if it hurts. I need You. I want You, Jesus.