Holly is one of my best friends. I met her when she first started attending my high school. We were freshman and became friends, but it wasn't until senior year that we really grew as close friends. It started at senior camp-out when we stayed up until 2 in the morning speaking in Spanish and about our futures and about how we'd tell on each others' kids about how late we made each other stay up. :)
I know that Jesus sent me this girl senior year because He knew I'd need her. Holly, you have seen me when I'm broken and ugly and discouraged, and yet you have still loved me and encouraged me and have threatened to beat up a certain boy for me (wink) and beat me up too . . . :) LOL You have been prayer warrior and encourager . . . one of my best friends. I love you.
Thank you for talking with me on the phone today. You leave me encouraged, with things to think about. After I hung up with you, I was sitting by the front window eating lunch. I still don't feel like myself, and I still feel kind of crud-ish, but I want to be like David. I want to be honest. So here's my public declaration. I hope the devil sees it . . . :)
Yahweh, awhile back, I told You "no matter what." I didn't know what that statement would mean, but I knew that it could cost me things that I love. Jesus, You took away a silly thing that I really shouldn't care so much about, yet I have, and it's hurt. But Jesus, I choose to love You still. I have been faithless, but You remain faithful. I choose to trust You with my future. I don't want to believe it, but I choose to trust You that you have "Caleb" all figured out, that someday, if You will, I'll get to meet him. I will follow You, Lord. You do have me in Your hands. I choose joy. JOY. Please restore unto me the joy of my salvation! I am NOT the VICTIM! (Satan, are you hearing this? I HATE you. I will NOT listen to the lies.) I trust in Your love, Jesus, that it is enough. I hand over my pain. I am being made holy. I am set free. I am child of GOD, of the King. Praise You, Lord! You have saved me, You have redeemed me. I am Yours.
Please, I'm going to close my eyes for awhile and just trust You. You're in this rocking boat too, aren't You? You know. Thank You for recording all my tears. Thank You for listening to my doubts and putting up with my anger, (or maybe I should say, still loving me while I'm angry . . .). I really don't know how to move on right now, but please help me. I still want to be Yours. Please.
"You've got Holly and Danae, in Your hands, You've got Holly and Danae, In Your hands, You've got Holly and Danae, in Your hands, You've got their whole world in Your hands."