"It's easy to trust Jesus when the storms far away
But when memories and feelings of your home far away
Have been smashed into pieces by the storm's awful waves
Then it's sweeter to trust Jesus."
- Sara Beth Geoghegan "Sweeter"
You know, I'm sure Peter and James and John probably weren't too thrilled by the storm's waves, but I'm so glad that they experienced that storm and Jesus' calming and that it's written in God's Word, because I need that reference point to understand some of the twists and stormy weather in my life.
I was chatting with my dad two days ago, telling him that I just want to get life over with kinda. And no, I'm not suicidal, but don't you ever have the feeling that you just wish part of your life would be over? You know, like high school or college or finding a spouse. Like my Dad's said, it's awful to wish your life away, but sometimes, I do. I guess one of the best ways to describe it is knowing that your life has already been written and figured out and just wanting to get to the good parts. You know what I'm saying?! :) I guess I'm maybe living too much in the future, but the grays and blues swirl tightly, and it's cloudy. Sometimes, it's just plain hard to live in today.
There was a certain issue(s) I was struggling with, and Dad mentioned that maybe I'm not trusting Jesus with it (or something to that effect). It kinda hit me like a tower of water . . . swoosh. At first, I was kind of defensive I think. But actually, that was a big part of the issue. I'm not sure that it's all the issue, but granted, it's a big part. Another thing I was reminded of is that I need to be .still. That there's a good chance peace may not come in my life from the outside in, but my heart can be settled, and Jesus can be there.
I wish I could understand myself, my situations sometimes. Don't you? Hmm . . . someday.