Sunday, October 6, 2013

Day 5 & Day 6: A Wedding and a Home . . . Rest

*Photo Credits to Brandon Baker*
Day 5 of this month was spent getting all pretty with a bunch of beautiful women, praying for a bride, walking down an isle, laughing, cleaning, going. It was such an honor to play a small role in one of my dear friends' weddings. What an incredible day.

I am still so amazed at how peaceful Ciara was throughout the whole process. It was beautiful and supernatural. She was a stunning bride, and even though the day was a whir, that girl was resting on something, or maybe better put, she was resting on Someone. She had put so many prayers into her decision to say "yes," Jesus was central, and there were so many people praying for her. And it seemed that she was really able to thoroughly enjoy such an incredibly beautiful, sweet day . . . not worried or rushed. Joy-filled.

She was resting in His peace.

We can only rest in what is true and sound.

She had heard the Lord's answer over her life, over her marriage. She was living into the "YES." God blessed her with the gift of resting in this truth.

While I don't think resting can ever be substituted with striving, I wonder if there really is a true place where resting and seeking go hand in hand.

If I want to rest in God, I must seek Him. I must know Him as I'm learning about in a book I'm reading right now (The Holy Wild by Mark Buchanan . . . hope to share more soon!).

In order to rest through big (or small) decisions, I need to be seeking Jesus' truth and resting in it. I need to be asking questions and quieting myself for answers. As I follow Him, as I say "YES" in these answers, I will find Him to be a resting place. A Home for the every piece of me.

Day 6 finds me sitting here at this computer on a Sunday at home. I love this place, these people. I'm at rest here . . . a hundred and some miles away from a student leadership title, from an ever busy schedule, from people whom I LOVE but who don't understand my backstories and my genes. But here? Here I'm fairly known, and I'm loved . . . regardless. Home is not perfect. It's filled with four imperfect people, and sometimes, we're not the best communicators. We can be a little dysfunctional, a little messy. We sometimes forget to listen or love or be selfless. But still . . . in the imperfect and the rough, I've found a place of rest. 

Because I've found a place where I'm Loved. Known. Safe. 

I think of Chris and Conrad's song, "I'm at Home."

A heart can break a thousand times before it finds
The love that makes it beat again
I've had my share of ups and downs in this whole life
Nothing compares
To this love
It's our love

I'm at home when I'm with you
When you're with me worries fade away

This world can take the very life right out of me
And leave me broken on my knees
Sometimes I feel like I just can't go on
But you restore me

It's your love
It's our love

Oh, I'm at home when I'm with you
When you're with me worries fade away
I'm at home when I'm with you
When you're with me and in your arms I'll stay
I'll stay, I'll stay, yeah

I'll never find another
Closer than any other
It's you I love
It's you I love, yeah

I'm confident that Home can be a Person. Having my sister near me feels like home. Even if we were both several countries away . . . if she was near, she would represent a shadow of Home. I could rest. I'd be fine.

I believe that JESUS is HOME. He's not a Shadow. He IS. It is only in His nearness that I can find REST. It is only in His comfort, in the way He knows me through and through, in the depth of His love. 

Honestly, besides needing to be much more developed, I suppose my day 5 and day 6 posts should be flipflopped, because really, today I can rest in Jesus as Home, and in this resting, this choosing to lay back into His knowing and loving, I can sit with Him and talk. I can seek His guiding about my next steps. As He guides, I trust. As I trust, I rest.

Trust & Rest.

So much to say. Someday soon. 

Much love! Enjoy your Sabbath, my friend.

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