Friday, October 4, 2013

Day 4: Return and Rest

Should I be blogging now? Definitely not. I should be sleeping. Ha! Irony! Instead, I am deeply in need of a rest that comes in surrender, in placing the words pent-up in my veins into fluent sentences that pump steady beats.

Maybe there's something to that really, that after the creating (the writing) is the resting. Isn't that how Creator God lived that first week? Maybe that's a jump, but I wonder if there's something to be learned in that.

Crud, it's only 28 minutes into a new day, and I already feel like I have failed. That's why I'm here. Needing to write order into my failing, flailing chaos. How do I dare come to YHWH when I've failed? Why should He allow me rest and peace when I should be whipped? I want to just RUN!

Until I read this.

Isaiah 30
15  For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,
“In returning and rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”
But you were unwilling, 16 and you said,
“No! We will flee upon horses”;
therefore you shall flee away;
and, “We will ride upon swift steeds”;
therefore your pursuers shall be swift.

17  A thousand shall flee at the threat of one;
at the threat of five you shall flee,
till you are left
like a flagstaff on the top of a mountain,
like a signal on a hill.
18  Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
          blessed are all those who wait for Him.

Israel knew what it looked like to run away. They were a restless people. A fleeing people.

I am so restless.

I understand . . . at least in part.

While I am running, my Savior is waiting. He rises up to reach down to me. To pull me up in mercy.

I can choose to run away when I sin, when I blow it (knowingly or unknowingly), or I can come back. I am
offered the chance to return and rest. To stop fighting. To trust that He is God. He is merciful.

1 comment:

bitnee said...

You have a beautiful heart, my friend. and Yahweh delights in it. <3