Monday, January 25, 2010

Dear Love

Jesus, thank You for being with me. You truly are my Best Friend. Oh Jesus, I need to shift the gaze off of me. You know i love the spotlight - - way too much. You know how out of the way I go to gain that shimmer of congrats and wows and pats-on-the-back, of feeling that "oh danae, you are somebody," "you matter," "i want you to be part of my life because you're worth it, you make me smile, you know just what to say, i need you." But Jesus, You also know that deep within, if I could just stand within Your presence, with the light of Your presence being the only light on my face, I could rest perfectly content in the being still. But I don't stay in Your presence like I should. I don't know why. Part of it means that i, danae, must die. And dying's hard and brutal. But Jesus, if life is ever to spring up out of the ice, the seed must die, and that's me. I need Your help. I've tried countless times, but trying to do this on my own isn't working. Will You change me?

And during the while, thank You . . .

379. that You spoke to me in church . . . if John the Baptist were here, standing by me as I type, and I asked him "What am i to do?" what would he tell me to do to change the way I'm living now? (Luke 3).

380. for the sunshine . . . oh how refreshing it is, Jesus! You know I needed it.. .

381. that my SATs are finished as of this past Saturday!!!!!!! Oh YESSSS :)

382. that I could be part of special music in church.

383. for vehicles that run . . . i take it for granted.

384. for Psalms 107 . . . it spoke to me today at lunch . . . I needed to hear You. I still do, Lord.

385. thank You that i made it through last week . . . stress levels spiked, but the breaking point came and the pressure resided and Your grace was enough . . . as always. new.

386. for laughter within my youth group.

387. for the fernando ortega music that I've been falling asleep too.

388. for hearing out all my questions

389. that You are my constant. my Faithful. my Love.

390. for secret prayer sisters at church :)

Thank You, Jesus. Please help me through this week . . . finals week. Please hold up my head. Help me to be dying to me. Living for You. I love You. . . . danae

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