Jesus? I'm such a mess. I'm not orderly. I'm not the kind of broken that's "all put together," that's submissive and fully trusting.
I'm the broken that doesn't quite break clean. I'm not the clean cut. I'm the broken of the tree trunk that's been sawed down with a dull saw, part of its stump still trying to stand tall. Shouldn't I be like the cracked, clay pot, God? Fully broken, fully surrendered? My brokenness looks more like messiness and rebellion sometimes.
I can't even break honestly.
And I really don't know about brokenness, Lord. I know about selfishness, but what do I know of brokenness?
So, I come to You so tired tonight but expectant.
Break me in order that I may follow You, God.
Please break me in order that when people look at me, they sincerely see YOU because You really are in me . . . not because I know all the right words.
Please break me so my tongue's natural response is "Yes, Lord! Yes, Yes, Yes!!!"
Please break me so that my knees are always bent in adoration.
Please break me, Lord, so I can really know You, so that all other distractions dissolve.
Please break me, Lord, so I can see just how much my sin has cost You. Oh God, please.
I can trust You with the knife.
With the pressure and the stresses and the heartache that You allow to come my way.
As long as You promise to stay . . .
please do what it takes to make me closer to You, to make me love You more and to know Your love more . . . as long as You stay right next to me and give me what I need to walk through it. Please, please Jesus!
Thank You for being so trustworthy.
I love You. Thank You for being broken for me. What an incredible Savior!
In Jesus' name,