Day 21: Don't Stop the Madness

I'm heading out to a Tenth Avenue North / Audrey Assad / Rend Collective Experiment concert in a little less than 2 hours. Jesus is INCREDIBLE. I had been looking at this concert near the beginning of the school year, thinking it would be fun to go but not so much for $25. Well, through a series of events, a radio station gave me FREE TICKETS!!!!! when I wasn't expecting them by any means. The Lord answers some crazy desires so unexpectedly . . . He is such a good gift Giver!

Well, anyway, I've been listening to a few Tenth Avenue North's songs on YouTube before I head to the concert, and I heard this one.



It's a song that asks God to let the pain and the chaos and really the brokenness come in order to keep us on our knees.

This truly is an upside down kingdom.

I LOVE this line:

"If you promise pain it can't be meaningless

So make me poor if that's the price for freedom"

I have been so recently aware of the wonderful life I'm living right now. Seriously. I have the best friends. I get to study the Word of God. I have two great jobs. I have my own space. I have been so blessed by others' love and gifts and words this past week . . .

but am I putting too much weight in this? Do I really desire Him to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep me on my knees? To keep me worshiping God?

And I am sincerely faced with the very real question:

Am I leaning on the goodness of my life?
Or
Am I leaning on the Giver of all Good, the One who works even our pain and the rough, soul-tearing experiences for our good?

Lord, please reveal my heart. Show me my motives . . . please bring me always on my knees. Do what You have to, Lord. I would rather be with You in pain than run away from you in what I think is happiness. Please.