Day 9: Idol Worship

I whisper it out the window, ashamed … appalled… “The only thing that prevents me from praying more is me.”

The sparrows line the hydro wires out by the mailbox.

“It’s my own inflated sense of self-importance, the elevation of my work, of my agenda, that keeps me from prayer-communion.” I turn to face him.

“That’s called idol worship. I don’t pray enough because I’m practicing idol worship.”

- Ann Voskamp from her post found Here.

If you have a second, please take a moment to follow the link to read Ann's full post, to click on some of her links.

Ann's heart for prayer and finding those quiet places is beautiful and encouraging . . . and convicting.

Ann Voskamp points out that believing we don't have enough time to pray is a form of idol worship; it's putting our agenda and ourselves as ultimate and most important. It is neglecting our frailty and our need for only fully Jesus. I am guilty. Please check out her blog! It is so beautiful and worth reading!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Sunday, I want to set another time goal for this week. Last week, my goal was 15 minutes each morning before my first activity (class/chapel). This morning, I didn't get the full 15 minutes in. I didn't get around fast enough / wake up early enough. I hope that can encourage you in a roundabout way as it reminds you that I need so much grace and that just because I (or we) fail, doesn't mean it's over. :) So, I'll get back on my feet: It's a new week!!!! :)

The goal for this upcoming week is to again pray 15 minutes before my first morning class/chapel and then 15 minutes before I go to bed. :) This is still small, but if I can gain victory in the small, I can press onward to the bigger victories. Journey with me?

The prayer for day 9 is Love. <3

Dear Father,

Oh Father God, I could probably write pages and pages about my need for love and for the ability to actually really love people and to really, sincerely love You.

Please, teach me to love. I have names, Sovereign Lord. I have names of certain people that I struggle to love, and it's not because I don't want to love them. NOT AT ALL. It's quite the opposite. The problem is, I don't know how to love them the way You've asked me to love them. My love isn't enough. It's shallow and selfish. It is destructive, not healing. It's not what they need.

And then, YHWH, there are people I don't feel like putting in the energy to love. I am so wretched. I am dark and dirty. I'm sorry, Jesus. Please forgive me when I don't love them, when I don't love my brothers and sisters in You. Please give me the strength. Please fill me with Your love to give and Your creativity to love well.

And YHWH? How do I love You? Oh I want to be so fully devoted and passionate to love my King honestly, sincerely. When I say "I love You," I want to mean it to the deepest extent that I would do anything to prove it. ANYTHING. Please, great Teacher, teach me what it means to love You. To be FILLED and motivated with Love for You.

I really do love You, Jesus. Please expand and deepen and purify that love. Help me to say: Do whatever it takes.

In Jesus' name.
Amen.